“We must go on living;” Walnut Creek holds somber Memorial Day observance

WALNUT CREEK — Walnut Creek held its traditional Memorial Day observance Monday morning. But behind the flags and patriotic music, there was a feeling of great sorrow, and a call to help those who quietly suffer the greatest loss of their lives.

The city welcomed military families to its Civic Park Monday morning. But there was nothing festive about it.

“It’s heartening to see that all of you today clearly understand the meaning of this day, and the importance of it and I’m very grateful for that,” Mary Tollefson told the crowd. She was proud but nervous when her son Benjamin joined the Army and was sent to Iraq. On December 31st, 2008, he was killed in a mortar attack.

“When the knock on the door came, our lives were forever changed,” she said. “His life was cut too short.”

It’s been 14 years and Tollefson said the heartache has never ended. Sitting out in the audience, Ron Craven knows it never will. He was stationed in Korea from 1967 to 1970. One by one, he watched good friends – who felt more like brothers – die in Vietnam. It’s been 55 years for him and though he’s tried to lock it away, Memorial Day lets it all out again.

“You can’t think about them every day because you get down too much. But on days like Memorial Day and Veterans Day, you kind of go back in time a lot and think about those guys.” said Craven. “It’s always with you someplace in there and some days, like today, we let it out.”

Craven said he thinks about one buddy who had a son just before shipping off to Vietnam.

“I’ve often wondered, what happened to that boy, you know? Because he never knew his father,” he said. “Hopefully, somebody stepped in and helped him out.”

Most days, those who must deal with the loss are on their own. They’re left alone with their own thoughts and it can get pretty lonely.

“But we must go on living,” said Tollefson. “We want to talk about our loved one. Please listen. We want to hear stories or memories that you share. Please share them. We need to cry sometimes. Please be there for us. Say their names, share their stories, and always honor their memories.”

But Memorial Day isn’t just about honoring those who have died. It’s about remembering those who will spend the rest of their lives dealing with the grief. And that’s a huge sacrifice for any nation to ask of anyone.