Virgin Voyages’ Valiant Lady review: From food to cabins – everything you need to know

Entertainment
There are no abridged West End shows and thankfully no pointless singing and dancing revues without any storyline but there is non-stop entertainment at night in several different venues and some fun events during the day.

The Red Room is a very clever venue with seating that can be arranged like any normal theatre, cleared completely for parties or set against two walls with a central space for performances such as Duel Reality – the fantastic acrobatic show by circus company The 7 Fingers.

The Manor nightclub hosts resident sexologist Dr A’s Never Sleep Alone show, which is a comedy but a bit scary if you hate audience participation. Not that you have to go on stage if you don’t want to, but it can be a bit cringe-making watching other people bare their souls (nothing else, thank goodness).

Cocktails & Revelry with The Diva – the drag queen show – is funnier and even if you don’t like bingo you should go and watch Bingo With The Diva if it’s on during a sea day. Hilarious. Party nights include the DanceShowPartyThing – a joyous dance show in the Red Room which is standing room only and you’re encouraged to join in.

Then there’s the Scarlet Night Pool Party where you can join the ship’s dancers in the pool (there’s a paddling area) and just have some fun.

If none of that turns you on then you’re probably not going to want to have a tattoo at Squid Ink, either, and you wouldn’t be alone. Although some brave sailors opt for an inky souvenir of their Virgin Voyage, most just peer through the discreet screen around tattoo studio and murmer “hope the sea stays calm”.

Fact box
Valiant Lady sails from Barcelona until October 2022 with three seven-night itineraries then transfers to Miami until May 2023 for Western and Eastern Caribbean itineraries.

Its Mediterranean cruises are all returns from Barcelona with an overnight in Ibiza and the 7-night French Daze & Ibiza Nights also has an overnight in Monte Carlo.

The Irresistible Med, return from Barcelona, calling at Toulon, Marina di Carrara, Ajaccio, Cagliari and Ibiza, departing August 7 2022, from £2,629.10 per cabin, cruise only (virginvoyages.com).