If you haven’t heard about the Bournemouth stag do-gate, allow us to catch you up.
It’s done the rounds on Twitter, with people both outraged and amused at the audacity of the situation.
And it’s not a new problem. Seven years ago, journalist Toby Young wrote about his own disappointing send off.
‘Only four out of ten pals turned up for my stag do, not including the “best friend” who organised it’, he wrote in memorable article for The Spectator.
Echoing these sentiments, Fred said: ‘Nah these guys really didn’t respect my stag do at all man. They took me too Bournemouth’.
Speaking on the podcast, Fred put two of his stag attendees on the hot spot to ask how it all came about – and no one wanted to take responsibility.
Tom Bourlet from The Stag Company, says behaviour like this from a supposed best friend isn’t acceptable, really.
‘The best man’s role isn’t hugely expansive, you have to ensure the groom turns up to the wedding on time, you have to write a great speech, but the number one step is planning the perfect send off for the groom,’ he says.
‘That’s why it can be incredibly hurtful if they don’t go to the effort to plan something great for the person that has chosen them as their best mate in the world.’
Tom says this can commonly happen when groomsmen opt for sticking somewhere local rather than turning it into a holiday, or when keeping the selection of activities to a minimum – not actually including a daytime activity and sticking to a pub visit.
Some on Twitter fessed up to being involved in terrible stag dos, while others shared the level of planning that went into planning a fun filled weekend.
One man shared: ‘See now, for my friend’s stag… we had zoom meetings – like, a few of us had to set pace and get the ball rolling.’
Another added: ‘Lol at least his boys greeted him in Bournemouth. At my stag do only my brother & my best man turned up… but that’s a story for another day’.
This man said he then ‘adjusted’ his friendship circles afterwards.
A bad stag do isn’t as rare as you might think – but it’s easy to avoid.
Tom advises: ‘Communication is key. The best man should speak to the groom a number of times to work out how they would really like to celebrate, what activities they would love or hate, which locations would be most appreciated and what the numbers are to plan this for.’
If you’re a best man that’s dropped the ball, take notes – fast.
Tips for planning a stag do
Tom from The Stag Company says these things are key to keep in mind:
- One of the most common complaints following a stag do can be when people wear fancy dress, not realising that most nightclubs have a policy against this. It’s always best to wear fancy dress during the day and change before heading out for the night so as to avoid disappointment.
- Don’t forget to arrange great ‘ice breaking’ activities at the start, especially when a group contains people who have never met before. Whether it’s paintballing, go karting or an assault course, they can help the group to blend together well.
- Avoid arranging early morning activities for the second day, because members of the group will likely be too intoxicated the night before and simply can’t get up in time for the activity, or end up missing half of the activity as they nap at the side.
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