Six months after the death of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, his mother has shared what brings her “peace.”
Connie Boss Alexander, the mom of the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” DJ and co-executive producer, told People she tries “not to dwell” on his suicide, opening up about her grief for the first time since his death.
“When I think about him, I try not to dwell on how he left this Earth,” Alexander, 59, said. “This is not totally the end. That is where my peace comes from.”
Alexander said that Boss, who died by suicide at 40 in December, “was always smiling, always willing to try new things.”
“Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, and then other times it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen him,” she continued.
The mom of three said she worries that she missed warning signs of Boss’ depression, calling the posthumous revelation “shocking.”
“I don’t know when or if I’ll ever accept it,” she said. “At this point, I’m in realization, I guess.”
Boss’ widow, Allison Holker, said that her late husband “didn’t want people to know” about his mental health struggles.
For Alexander, “some days are better than others,” she admitted, and she is tempted at times to pick up the phone and call him.
“When I wake up in the morning, it does hit me that, oh my God, he really is not physically here,” she said. “But then in my head I can hear him say, ‘Hey, Mom. I’m OK.’ “
Holker, who had two children with Boss, said talking to her kids about their father’s death has been “really hard.”
“It’s honestly something I wouldn’t wish for anybody. It’s really hard,” Holker previously said of the many “hard conversations” on the “Today” show. “But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that communication is key.”
Boss adopted Holker’s 14-year-old daughter, Weslie, and together they had son Maddox, 7, and daughter Zaia, 3.
“To us, daddy’s in the stars,” Holker continued. “So we can go outside and talk to him whenever we want.
“They just ask, ‘When is daddy coming back?’ and that’s a really hard one,” she added.
After months of speculation about Boss’ devastating death, last month’s autopsy results confirmed there were no drugs or alcohol in the late DJ’s system.
In January, Boss’ family honored him at a private funeral.
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