In the days and weeks after giving birth, self-care, housework, socialising and even personal hygiene can go out of the window – as Stacey Solomon knows.
The presenter shared a fun post on her Instagram stories this week, joking about how she hasn’t washed her hair since giving birth to her fifth child, Belle, a fortnight ago.
‘I don’t usually look like this, I’ve put some makeup on because it’s my dad’s birthday, so I’ve tried to make an effort to go for dinner,’ she laughed.
‘By making effort I mean I’ve put some foundation on and a bow in my hair, at the hope that no one will notice I still haven’t washed it since I’ve given birth.’
The short clip has struck a chord with other mums, because while it’s totally normal for these things to drop off while you’re focussing on keeping a small human alive, we still rarely see realistic portrayals of motherhood in the media.
Kirsty Ketley, who had her children in 2013 and 2016, thinks it’s ‘great that Stacey is being so open and honest’.
‘There is too much “perfection” on social media, which can impact a new mum’s mental health,’ says the 42-year-old from Surrey, who works as a parenting specialist.
Both of Kirsty’s children were premature, so her self-care took a ‘backseat’ while they were in a special care unit.
‘I relied on ready meals to eat and couldn’t have cared any less about my looks,’ she tells Metro.co.uk, recalling her limbo life going to and from the hospital.
‘When they did come home, I was just so happy to feel like a “normal” mum that I just got on with that and shunned the “pinging back into shape” narrative.’
Gemma Lomas, 38 and from Reading, wishes more mums in the spotlight would share the realities of the ‘fourth trimester’.
‘I actually think Stacey looks amazing considering she has not washed her hair, I wish mine looked that good after two weeks without a wash!’ she says.
Gemma had two emergency c-sections, the second being a more complicated procedure and also during lockdown, meaning her recovery was ‘really tough’.
‘My focus was purely on feeding my newborn and most pictures of us in the early days were me holding her on the sofa or in bed as I couldn’t move very well,’ she says.
‘I couldn’t do any housework, food was prepared by my husband (something quick and easy) and bought at our local shop as he wasn’t able to leave the house for long due to me being in lots of pain. Washing was also uncomfortable although I would make sure I did this purely to keep my scar clean.’
Cathy Reay, 36 and based near London, also found usual mealtimes were a thing of the past when she welcomed her two children, now eight and five.
‘I would go hours without food, often either forgetting to eat in the exhausted blur of caring for my baby, or simply not having time, maybe grabbing a packet of crisps or an apple if I was lucky enough,’ she says.
Her advice to new mums?
Cathy says: ‘You have to learn to radically reduce your self-expectations, especially if you have a colicky baby or not much support at home.
‘If you can, reach out to others to support you in cleaning the home or sorting your shopping or making you a sandwich! It feels like a lifetime but that newborn stage really does fly by, and you’ll feel more on top of things sooner than you think.’
For Claire Gleave, 43 from the Cotswolds, it was exercise that completely dropped off when she became a mum to her three boys, now seven, 10 and 11. (Coincidentally, she now owns an activewear brand for pregnant and breastfeeding mums).
She also didn’t wearing any makeup in the newborn phase, which she’d previously applied religiously.
Claire stresses new mums, like Stacey, in this position to be kind to themselves.
‘Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Would you give them a hard time if they hadn’t washed their hair or gone for a run? Probably not. So don’t be so hard on yourself,’ she says.
‘The early weeks and months are especially tough – try and go with the flow. It will take time but you will get you back. I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself looking back.’
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