Review | ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ neither triumph nor disaster

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Starring Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Toby Jones, Antonio Banderas, John Rhys-Davies, Shaunette Renée Wilson, Thomas Kretschmann, Boyd Holbrook, Olivier Richters, Ethann Isidore, Martin McDougall and Alaa Safi. Written by Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth, David Koepp and James Mangold. Directed by James Mangold. Reviewed at the Cannes Film Festival; June 30 theatrical release. 142 minutes. STC

In the love scene at the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” a triumphant but bruised Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) says to love interest Marion (Karen Allen), “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”

That was true for the franchise start in 1981, when Ford was still in his 30s. But now he’s 80, and watching him groan and grimace through his fifth and final Indy romp, “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny,” the realization dawns that it’s now the years and the mileage.

Neither triumph nor disaster, “Dial of Destiny” settles for checking off franchise tropes — MacGuffin, Nazis, tombs, sidekicks — as it labours through a global quest for a compact time machine designed by the great mathematician Archimedes, who of course also broke it in two and designed an elaborate hiding place for one of the pieces.

The film is mostly set in 1969 — the Apollo 11 moon landing gets a major shout-out — but Indy and villain du jour Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) are still fighting the Second World War. Voller is convinced he can correct Hitler’s mistakes by using Archimedes’ dial, allowing him Nazi rule of the planet.

It’s all pretty goofy and laborious over its 142-minute running time. But there’s a fabulous extended opening sequence, set in 1944, in which really great CGI de-aging tech drops decades from Ford’s face and body, allowing him to meet Voller in the past. Imagine what can be done with this tech in the future.

The film leaps to 1969 and Ford makes no pretence of being the virile man he was, although the older Indy still possesses enough strength and sass to ride a horse through the New York subway system, evading pursuers.

Indy also acquires several sidekicks. Helena Shaw (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) plays his brash and scheming goddaughter. She loves history as much as Indy does but, unlike him, she hopes to turn a profit from it.

No fears on that front, Helena: “Dial of Destiny” is sure to do boffo box office for its nostalgia value alone, no matter what the cranky critics say.

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