Perhaps you’ve noticed your toddler needs changing less or maybe they’ve started verbalising needing to go? Well, if so it may be time for them to experience the joy of mastering the toilet.
While the thought of not needing to use nappies ever again is a reason to celebrate in itself (parents in the UK go through a whopping 4000 nappies throughout the baby years) the dream of training quickly and easily is not always a smooth road.
Understandably, it can feel like a daunting task to get it right and there may be a few setbacks, hiccups and even tears along the way. Oh, and accidents galore.
But fear not, before you know it, they’ll be a pro on the go! And you’ll be saving yourself a few pounds in the process too.
The good news is that while there is not one size fits all approach, there are a few simple tips and tricks you can try to encourage them to use the potty and toilet so they can go with ease…
When to start
For most, the most popular way is standard nappies or reusable ones and then changing them frequently throughout the day.
Expert potty consultant Rebecca Mottram from Little Bunny Bear says the most common way to know if your child is ready for using the potty is by picking up on a few simple signs.
‘Research shows that parents and carers are generally potty training too late and that the best age to stop using nappies altogether is somewhere between 18-30 months,’ she says.
‘Children begin learning at birth and must master over 40 different skills before becoming toilet independent, so, like learning to walk, it is one of the most complex milestones of the early years.’
She shares that when it comes to ‘signs’ and ‘readiness’, research shows that most parents find it confusing to know what to look for and when to begin.
‘The truth is that parents do not need to wait until their child is capable of doing everything independently or until their child tells them they want to stop wearing nappies before they start potty learning.
‘Starting potty learning from infancy, and having the opportunity to practise and master these skills as you go along offers a gentle learning curve and is the best way to approach potty training.’
The NHS states that while you can’t force a toddler to use the potty, you can give lots of encouragement and the average age to start is between two and two and a half.
How to introduce the potty
Asking advice on starting potty training from family, friends, work colleagues and more can result in stories that may make your head spin.
Rebecca believes in keeping it simple and light, and that you can introduce the potty as soon as children can safely sit up on their own, even if they don’t necessarily use it.
She explains that you can use nappies most of the time but then take them off to use a potty when the child is likely to go.
‘Good times to try sitting on the potty include shortly after they wake up, after mealtimes, and anytime the parents know or it looks like their child needs to go.’
Rebecca continues: ‘Alongside this, as your child grows, parents can help their child learn words or signs for the potty, how to push their pants down and pull them up again, using toilet paper, handwashing and drying can also be included.’
She also encourages us to keep the conversation going by trying a few physical actions:
- Change nappies or pull-ups as soon as they are wet or soiled (this teaches the child that it is normal to be clean and dry).
- Once they can stand up, try nappy or pull-up changes standing up and involve the child in cleaning up and flushing the waste down the toilet. If they are at the age where they are able to flush the toilet they may find this a bit of a novelty!
- Leave their child’s nappy or pull-up off for up to 30 minutes after the child has wet or soiled it. This will help them get used to not wearing it, without having an accident (and save you time from pulling off any extra clothes when they suddenly need to go). Timing is paramount!
- Having regular, short periods without wearing a nappy or pull-up can help prepare children for how it will feel when they stop using them completely. Some parents find several days of doing this really helps. Let them be free and naked but watch out for a few possible spills on the floor.
Rachel also explains that even if they don’t go, trying out these things all helps in the long run.
‘Doing these things before stopping using nappies helps children learn many of the skills they will need when the time comes to actually stop. It can help to make this transition easier. Stopping using nappies is one of the last skills in the process.’
Where to keep the potty
When it comes to potty training it is best to keep it convenient. Rachel shares that they need to be able to access that potty quickly and without a fuss.
‘It’s helpful to make it as easy as possible for children to succeed, so having the potty nearby can help with this,’ she shares.
‘A potty that is low to the ground helps make sure that children can use it independently.
‘Some children may prefer to go straight to using the toilet, in which case it is best if they use a children’s toilet seat and a step stool. Having feet firmly on the floor or a stool is a comfortable position as it lengthens the bowel and allows it to fully empty.’
How to approach nighttime potty training
Before you can run, you must walk. While attempting the nighttime potty training may seem ideal to celebrate even more wins, make sure the daytime is in full swing first.
Holding their bladder until morning or getting up to go to the toilet at night is one the last things they will learn so it’s essential they feel comfortable going to the toilet or on the potty in the daytime.
The NHS says to always make sure they have been before bed so that the bladder is completely empty and you could even keep a potty by the bed for easy access. Lastly, a waterproof sheet is a real saviour for those middle-of-night accidents.
What if they resist potty training?
While it can feel a little frustrating, and it feels like you’re going around in circles, if you are met with resistance in potty training, it is not always problematic.
‘Resistance usually starts because children want more control in the process,’ Rachel says.
‘It is not a sign they are not ready to learn potty skills or that learning should stop. Parents should give their child the opportunity to do things for themselves as far as possible.’
She also feels a few creature comforts go a long way.
‘They may also like to have some favourite toys or books next to the potty to help them to sit. The other common reason children resist is that their parents are prompting them too often. This can be avoided by learning the child’s habits (such as their signals or timing), giving them control in the process and teaching as they go along.’
She also shares that giving them treats or even bribery does not always work in the long run.
‘Rewards such as sweets or sticker charts may help initially, but they can stop working quickly. For most children, encouraging and supporting them to be as independent as possible is the best way to motivate them. To stay motivated, children need encouragement for their effort and not just for the end result.’
Books, podcasts and groups to try
If you are thinking, preparing or even attempting potty training, know that you are not alone.
Some parents like to use books to read to their little ones which can educate them for the journey ahead, others may prefer a support group or podcast.
Ted the Bear Potty books are a great starting point and the Pirate Pete collection with added sounds is used around worldwide to teach them.
For adults, the Oh Crap! potty training manual by Jamie Glowacki is a helpful book to ensure you do it right (and their aim is that you do it once too!)
If you’re tight on time, then try the Oh Crap podcast which is good to listen to when you’re on the go.
Rachel from Little Bunny Bear also offers a Facebook support group for getting advice and asking further questions to other parents.
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