Spider-Man is one of the most versatile of the Marvel superheroes. Peter Parker can go from fighting street-level crime to cosmic exploits alongside the Fantastic Four, all while retaining his trademark webs and witty quips. Out of his many different adventures over the years, Spider-Man’s weirdest task took place when he potty-trained Marvel’s most powerful god, the Beyonder.
The web-slinger’s notorious meeting with the Beyonder took place in 1985’s Secret Wars II, by Jim Shooter, Al Milgrom, Steve Leialoha, Josef Rubinstein, Many Hands, Rick Parker and Joe Rosen. By this point in “Secret Wars II,” the Beyonder had taken up his human form, traveling the Earth to understand the human experience. One particular person who the Beyonder followed was Peter Parker, the Amazing Spider-Man.
The Beyonder followed Peter from the Daily Bugle back to his apartment, surprising the wall-crawler at his home. The alien entity was curious about human customs, asking his host about concepts such as eating and clothing. After settling down, the Beyonder asked Spider-Man how to relieve the “strange pressure,” or “fullness in his lower abdomen.” Realizing that the Beyonder needed to use the bathroom, the wall-crawler directed his guest to the toilet, where he conducted his business.
As a whole, this moment was both ridiculous and quite hilarious. Considering the Beyonder was an omnipotent being, seeing him as a child who needed to be toilet-trained was quite a shift for the character. The Beyonder’s naivete around the human experience culminated in his use of the bathroom, highlighting how strange “Secret Wars II” was for the all-powerful entity.
Moreover, this moment was a clear sign of how strange “Secret Wars II” was overall. When the Beyonder took on his human form, he made several visits to a number of Marvel heroes, just as he did with Spider-Man. These trips were all pretty strange in nature, reaching their peak when the Beyonder needed to use the bathroom. Everything the Beyonder did, he did with child-like innocence, getting him into some crazy situations, like using Spider-Man’s bathroom.
What made this moment so hilarious was how uncomfortable Spider-Man was during the ordeal. Peter seemed very reluctant to explain using the restroom to the Beyonder, responding to the god’s query with an uneasy “oboy.” Even when the Beyonder made it to the bathroom, the web-head was freaking out, bewildered that any of this was happening to him.
Even though the Beyonder’s toilet training was a fairly humorous and odd moment, it was also a quintessential Spider-Man moment. More than anything, this scene highlighted the humanity behind the web-slinger. At the end of the day, Spider-Man is just a regular guy who happens to have spider-powers and go on some strange adventures.
When the Beyonder came to visit, the wall-crawler taught him something as basic and human and using the bathroom. In a way, it was smart of the Beyonder to come to Spider-Man, who knew more about being human than most heroes. Peter was really nice to the Beyonder, trying to be a good host in every way possible.
Initially, Spider-Man offered the Beyonder something to drink, which isn’t something one typically thinks about when hosting an omnipotent alien being. When the Beyonder expressed that he needed to use the restroom, Peter continued to be a good host, showing him the way and telling the Beyonder to call him if he needed anything.
This was really nice of Spider-Man, especially considering he had no idea what would happen when the Beyonder went to the bathroom. Still, Peter responded to the Beyonder very well, much like an adult would treat a child. Indeed, in his current state, the Beyonder did very much have the mind of a child. It spoke a lot to Spider-Man’s character that he could identify and respond to this, rather than treat him like a threat.
Rather, Peter really wanted to help the Beyonder, even directing him to Reed Richards to answer some of the being’s questions. It’s true that, initially, Spider-Man was fairly frightened by the Beyonder’s appearance. Even so, Peter eventually calmed down, doing everything he could to help the omnipotent entity. By toilet-training the Beyonder, Spider-Man went through one of his weirdest moments, but he also showed a lot of his natural decency and humanity.
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