Opinion | To Gen Z, King Charles is Gen ZZZ

It was a historic day that may be forgotten tomorrow.

On Saturday morning, at the ungodly hour of 5:47 (my basement time), King Charles III pulled up to Westminster Abbey in the Diamond Jubilee State Coach, an 18-foot, horse-drawn carriage with specs such as electric windows, climate control, ambient lighting and hydraulic suspension. It was a great metaphor for the new King.

Can he fuse the old and the new? Can he make the monarchy relevant in a modern world that is a different planet compared to 1066, when William the Conqueror was coronated at Westminster Abbey? Can King Charles make people care?

You know who probably doesn’t care? Prince Harry. He was shunned Saturday like Daniel at a Baldwin family reunion. They sat him a few rows back. He was not garbed in any weird regalia. He had no ceremonial role. I’m surprised they didn’t force him to wear a dunce cap. Then when the coronation was over, the royal family climbed into their gilded chariots for the ride back to Buckingham Palace and waved to the thousands who clogged the streets to witness history. There were Corgis in crowns.

Meanwhile, Harry was left standing in the rain until possibly calling an Uber.

Did you enjoy the coronation? To the uninitiated, it was like “Lord of The Rings” without the action scenes. Rituals included The Recognition, The Oaths, The Gloria, The Collect, The Sermon, The Anointing, The Investiture, The Crowning.

I took groggy notes while not understanding what I was watching: “Queen’s gown longer than Oscars red carpet.” “King slips on glove favoured by falcon trainers.” “Very loud man belts out Gaelic opera.” “King cradles magic orb.” “Queen’s crown obviously too heavy — she appears to be balancing an ottoman on her head.”

Don’t get me wrong. It was a fascinating event. I was particularly intrigued by the guy in the blue suit holding a hymn book for the Archbishop of Canterbury. He was a dead ringer for Sheldon Keefe. Hopefully, this Last Prayer was not a bad omen for the Leafs.

But the coronation was also a reminder of how out-of-touch the monarchy is with modern life. If you are slugging it out, trying to make ends meet, it’s hard to get jazzed about sceptres and Supertunicas. If you are substituting Spam in your bangers-and-mash, what do you care about the beheaded quails of yesteryear?

King Charles knows the monarchy must evolve on his watch. It’s why his coronation included leaders from multiple faiths. It’s also why females were given prominent roles in the proceedings. King Charles wants to champion all women — well, the ones who don’t have names that rhyme with Beghan Farkle.

The King’s biggest challenge will be his restless young subjects.

Scanning the crowds that came out in patriotic, Union Jack force on Saturday, you didn’t see many 20-somethings. Leading up to the coronation, there were lots of 20-somethings hoisting signs such as, “Not My King.” This could be a royal pickle.

A recent survey found nearly 40 per cent of Gen Z across the pond want to abolish the monarchy. To them, King Charles is Gen ZZZ. As it turns out, many young people who can’t even dream of first homes resent the quiche-munchers hobnobbing in castles.

There is nothing aspirational about blood lineage.

It’s never wise to guess moods based on the expressions of King Charles. His resting face makes it hard to tell if he’s giddy or bored silly. But as he sat in the Diamond Jubilee, waiting to enter Westminster, he looked agitated. Was that because Prince William and family were late, creating a processional snafu? Or was it because King Charles realized his crowning was in the offing and the real work was set to begin?

He cracked a smile after The Ascension Choir performed, “Sung Alleluia.” Then seconds later, 6:35 basement time, the Archbishop got down to business — “We are here to crown a King” — and Chuck was back to looking glum and stressed out.

I am agnostic toward The Crown. But it does seem like King Charles wants to do some good. His diversity initiatives would give George Augustus a panic attack. He was worried about climate change long before most scientists. His Aston Martin DB6 Mark 2 Volante runs on a bioethanol derived from wine and cheese byproducts. To me, that’s car abuse. But his motoring heart is at least in the right place.

King Charles also loves squirrels. I bow down to anyone who loves squirrels.

The world watched Saturday’s coronation and got swept up by the spectacle of it all. The horses, Grenadier Guards, thousands of troops, Red Arrows flyby, horns with dangling flags, multiple renditions of “God Save the King,” a new Andrew Lloyd Webber anthem, the cacophony of tolling bells, it was a royalpalooza of sights and sounds.

It’s why dignitaries and heads of state from more than 200 countries attended. Hopefully, Justin Trudeau doesn’t ring up a hotel bill this time that exceeds Manitoba’s GDP. The coronation was historic, not least because it was the first one in 70 years.

But the party dies this weekend. Long live the coronation on YouTube.

Many young people now see the royal family as irrelevant as fax machines.

This gives King Charles one path: He must navigate the future by forgetting the past.

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