Opinion | Olivia Culpo’s ‘inappropriate’ flight outfit is more proof of a sexist double standard in the high skies

Wouldn’t it be easier if airlines just banned female midriffs?

I have no clue as to why the sight of women’s belly buttons keep pressing the skittish buttons of airport staff. But fasten your seatbelts for takeoff. On Thursday, it was the torso of former “Miss Universe” Olivia Culpo that triggered retina bells. As her sister Aurora shared on Instagram, the two — joined by Christian McCaffrey, Olivia’s NFL boyfriend — were en route to Cabo.

But there was a problem. It seems American Airlines staff, scanning the departure lounge, deemed Olivia’s outfit to be “inappropriate.” She was summoned to the gate desk. She was told to “put on a blouse.” Christian gallantly shared his grey hoodie to avoid a no-Cabo disaster.

When I saw the headlines, I assumed Olivia must’ve cleared security in stockings, a garter belt and pasties. But, no. The poor thing was simply dressed for comfort and a tropical destination in cycling shorts, a sports bra and black cardigan long enough to double as a campfire blanket.

I have seen shoppers at Sobeys in the frozen foods aisle wearing less.

Having now read quite a few similar stories during the pandemic, of female flyers being forced to cover up, the common denominator is always an exposed midriff. It’s almost as if a woman’s stomach is now on the same dangerous list as box cutters, flammable liquids and ice picks. This month, the New Zealand Herald published a travel story — “Outfits That Got Passengers Kicked Off Flights in 2021” — and every photo included a bare-skin diaphragm of a female.

Now, to be fair, all airlines have their own policies for customer attire. If I showed up at Pearson in a Speedo, I would fully expect Air Canada to deny me a boarding pass. I would also expect my wife to file for divorce and move to Cabo under an assumed identity. But that is an extreme and highly disgusting example. My point is that I could wear a gender-comparable outfit to what Olivia had on Thursday — bike shorts, black blazer, cropped tank top — and it would be easier for me to cross an international border than if I had swallowed a plastic bag of heroin.

Airlines don’t care about what men are wearing. They’re too obsessed with women.

There is a double standard in the high skies. I actually wish the prudish and judgmental front-line staff cared about how male customers were garbed. How about arresting the portly fellow in the middle seat who is in a wife beater, flip-flops and attempting to break the Guinness World Record for loudest peanut munching on a domestic flight? Put him on a no-fly list. I would much rather sit next to Olivia Culpo. The anti-female bias at airports is so pronounced, the only recent incident in which a man was kicked off a flight happened last month when a Florida dipstick tried to showcase his anti-mask bona fides by wearing a woman’s red thong on his face.

Had he gone with a Calvin Klein men’s midway, nobody would’ve noticed.

This is now well past the point of ridiculous. Fashion and pop culture have been on a joint kamikaze mission for decades when it comes to a sense of occasion. At the dawn of commercial flight, passengers were dressed to the nines, looking like they were going to the opera.

Nowadays, a midjourney snapshot from the fuselage of any 747 is indistinguishable from a homeless encampment. You got people in ripped jeans and dirty T-shirts and pyjamas and track pants and street wear that screams the trip is a means to the end.

Fair enough. But if all airline passengers are in various states of casual undress, why is it that only female flyers are getting scrutinized for their travel wardrobes? And why is the bare midriff so problematic at 30,000 feet? When I get on a plane, I want gatekeepers to be on the lookout for items like what the TSA said this week were recovered in 2021, including a chainsaw, machete, bear spray, cleaver, pistol, bullets hidden in a deodorant and a meth-filled burrito.

Worry about that stuff.

I really don’t care if I glimpse a woman’s belly button as I jam my carry-on in the overhead.

You know what else is weird? Why is it that every time a female flyer is slut-shamed, is needlessly humiliated and told her attire is “inappropriate,” the self-deputized outfit cop is also female?

What’s that all about? I’m not a smart man, but I’m not dumb enough to speculate here. So I will just say this: when you read stories about women told to “cover up” before a flight, as happened to Culpo on Thursday, it’s hard to sidestep the possibility of girl-on-girl jealousy.

Ladies, if you are planning to fly during this pandemic and beyond, be sure to conceal that midriff. For whatever reason, your midriff is now contraband. No good can come from your midriff. Your midriff is scandalous. Your midriff is hitting silent alarms. Your midriff is a crime against humanity. Put on a hoodie, plaster your belly button with duct tape, but do not board a commercial flight if your tummy seems like a co-conspirator in a future Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.

American Airlines should apologize to Olivia Culpo.

And all airlines should apologize to all women.

It’s time for the double standard in the high skies to crash and burn.