Opinion | An outraged Peter Dinklage is right to question why Disney is remaking ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’

By today’s standards, everything about “Snow White” is problematic.

This is not surprising. The original animated film was released in 1937. It was based on a fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm that is now 210 years old. This might explain why the words “Snow White” and “problematic” have appeared in nearly 1,000 media stories, including several this week.

Disney is working on a live action remake. Though filming has not started, the criticism is already in Act 3. On Monday, in an interview on the “WTF” podcast, actor Peter Dinklage unloaded on the studio for a conspicuous discrepancy in updating the story.

As he noted, Disney is patting itself on the back for casting Rachel Zegler as “Snow White.”

But the story itself stereotypes the dwarfism community.

“I was a little taken aback when they were very proud to cast a Latina actress as Snow White,” he said. “But you’re still telling the story of ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.’ Take a step back and look at what you’re doing there. It makes no sense to me. You’re progressive in one way, and you’re still making that f—ing backwards story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together?”

The man is right. Well, except for the cave part. If memory serves, I believe the seven dwarves — mostly named for their primary emotional state — were hoarding slobs who inhabited a cottage in the woods that was clearly out of delivery range for Palmolive from Amazon.

That aside, I take Dinklage’s point. By casting Zegler, Disney signalled it is open to a total reimagining. If Snow White is now, say, Snow Brown, then everything can change. Even that crucial line — “Who is the fairest of them all?” — becomes null and void. You don’t even need the Talking Mirror. Just have the Evil Queen, to be played by Gal Gadot, ask Siri to figure out who has the best booty or magnificent midriff of them all. Whatever is deemed au courant.

And that frees up new creative possibilities for the dwarves. Maybe Happy is prone to violent fantasy. Dopey secretly runs a Mensa chapter. Sneezy is addicted to blow. Grumpy is a crypto bro baffled by market fluctuations. Sleepy is an influencer who posts TikToks for fellow narcoleptics. Doc is a struggling actor. And Bashful, well, Bashful is on parole after serving two years for exposing himself at a petting zoo.

Or here’s an idea: maybe Disney should just scrap this remake.

In response to Dinklage’s criticism, the company released a statement: “To avoid reinforcing stereotypes from the original animated film, we are taking a different approach with these seven characters and have been consulting with members of the dwarfism community.”

I’d love to be a fly on the wall for these feedback sessions: “Listen, just so you know, little people do not befriend squirrels and chipmunks. We are not miners. We can afford Gillette. We don’t take our fashion cues from the Travelocity Gnome. And we don’t eat off dirty plates.”

What Disney doesn’t seem to get is that Dinklage’s criticism isn’t the end — it is the start.

In 2018, actress Kristen Bell — Princess Anna from Disney’s “Frozen” — was troubled by the climactic scene, in which the handsome Prince kisses Snow White without permission. I know. Bonkers. Kristen, how is Snow White supposed to telegraph smooch consent when she’s comatose in an eternal slumber and facing death?

It’s why people getting mouth-to-mouth after nearly drowning don’t give consent.

I just saved your life. Don’t even try to make this about #MeToo.

“Snow White” may be the most “problematic” Disney classic because there is something in every scene that is likely to offend someone these days. The plot involves an assassination attempt masterminded by a vain legal guardian who gets intel from an omniscient mirror? That is not a good look for stepmothers or makers of mirrors. The Huntsman pulls the old switcheroo and sneaks a pig’s heart into the jewel box to fool the Queen? That is sure to anger vegans. And do you really think any apple farmer in 2022 wants to be associated with poison spells?

Disney believes this remake will explode at the box office.

Disney doesn’t grasp it is also wandering into a cultural minefield.

Dinklage, who has achondroplasia, a form of dwarfism, knows quite a lot about both Hollywood and the stereotypes and challenges faced by actors of his stature. Growing up, the only times I ever saw a little person onscreen, those roles tended to involve sight gags and pratfalls.

Dinklage himself has done much to change this in his impressive body of work.

But, overall, not much has changed.

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” is a touchstone in the history of motion pictures. It was Walt Disney’s first full-length animated film, heralding a multimedia behemoth that now has a market cap of roughly $248 billion. “Snow White” helped usher in the company’s global dominance.

That’s the point: Disney has the deep pockets to create original content that might become the touchstones of tomorrow. The goal should be to create new characters and diversify storytelling, as with “Encanto.” It should not be to rehabilitate problematic stereotypes, whether that’s the crows from “Dumbo” or the Siamese cats from “Lady and the Tramp.”

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” is available to anyone who wants to see it, as it should be. Let her live happily ever after. It is what it is.

Or rather, it is what it was.

There is no reason to kiss her again.