Online reviews of the Crocs cowboys boots are in — and they’re hilarious
Oct. 23 is Croc Day, and this year, the Broomfield-based company is celebrating with the release of its first cowboy boots design.
The shoemaker announced its release earlier this month – which it deems Croctober – attributing the boots’ development to demand from fans. Based on the number of people complaining online about the Crocs website going down Monday morning, it seems they’re poised to be a fan favorite.
A Crocs spokesperson declined to say how many pairs of the limited edition style are available, saying only that they are expected to sell out. By midday Monday, several sizes listed “only a few left” while larger sizes were listed as “coming soon.” By late afternoon, several sizes appeared to be sold out.
Despite that, reviews began pouring in several weeks ago on Crocs’ website. While it’s unclear how they were tried so soon (we’ve asked), the reviews are endlessly entertaining, with at least one citing the Crocs cowboy boots as the impetus for a divorce.
Here are the funniest reviews of the Crocs cowboy boots from the website.
Crocs? Boots? Croots
“Nothing says ‘yeehaw’ like having a pair of spiky wheels attached to your feet,” wrote reviewer sniktak from Atlanta. “Forget about subtlety – with these boots, you can jingle your way through life like a walking wind chime, ensuring that everyone within a ten-mile radius is well aware of your presence.”
Soon, soon
“Automatic Texan purchase,” said Texas-based reviewer They’ll Be Mine.
I would buy these again even though I was divorced
“When I first laid eyes on this I felt an immediate spark and pleasure staring at them. When I showed my boring old ass wife she side-eyed and told me she would divorce me if I bought a pair. Well guess what? She was not kidding. I bought a pair on a Sunday after church and my wife instantly handed me the house key and left,” reviewer Tucker Wilson of Montana wrote, in part. “The price is worth it but expensive if it causes a divorce. Attorneys are a pretty penny. When I walked into court everyone’s eyes fell upon my shoes. I graced that crowd with godly shoes. The Judge was deeply impressed and I knew I won the case.”
Fire drop ????????
“These boots are like the love child of John Wayne and the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. They’re so confused about their identity that they’ve become the fashion equivalent of an existential crisis,” said reviewer StylishGambino of Los Angeles. “They’re the fashion equivalent of a plot twist in a telenovela – utterly unexpected, yet strangely captivating. But here’s the kicker: They’ll hug your feet like a country love song.”
Yee Haw Croc Cowboys
“These are great to rustle up some cattle and gather my horses for a train robbery. Feel fancy, and they are 4-wheel drive so I can run fast,” wrote reviewer Cowboy Rick of The Pasture.
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