Nothing irks me more than when people pretend to be skint

I’ve never really had money. It’s gone up and down, I’ve had some good holidays over the years but mostly I’m kinda used to just scraping by.

I remember hearing the phrase ‘living hand to mouth’ a few years ago, and then being told what it means, and responding ‘but, doesn’t everyone live like that?!’ 

Now, at 31 and with two kids, I’d say I’m skinter than I’ve ever been, while earning more than I ever have before.

I won’t be the first to tell you that the price of everything has gone up, from rent to utilities to food and transport, but I am perhaps in a slightly unique position in that I’ve reached an age of having to put myself of the greatest financial responsibility at a time when it’s most difficult to do so.

I remember speaking to my dad a few years ago and he observed that it feels like my generation, us lucky Millennials, are doing all of life’s major milestones at the most difficult time.

We went to uni just as they put tuition fees up, joined the job market during a recession and now, we’re trying to get on the housing ladder as property prices are soaring.

As a renter, earning via the freelance gig-economy of stand-up comedy – and very rarely earning enough to even pay back any of my massive student debt – I feel I represent this generation, economically at least, as well as anyone does.

Just to add to my financial burden, I had kids at perhaps the daftest time ever. My first was born in the peak of lockdown when the only work I could get was online gigs and writing these articles (thank you, Mummy Metro). My second arrived two months ago, in the peak of what many are calling ‘Costy Livs’. 

And while everyone is feeling the pinch at the moment, some of us are properly, properly skint, and let me tell you, it is exhausting.

I’m sure for those fake-poor people I mentioned earlier it must be tiring having to flick through one, maybe even two banking apps, to access savings or move money from one pot to another, but for those of us who are genuinely finding this crisis difficult, it’s a whole different ball game.

It’s tiring waking up every morning and my first thought always being, ‘Ah yeah, we’ve got to factor our finances into every decision we make today, just like yesterday and the day before’.

And even more tiring getting into bed, thinking, ‘Don’t lay awake worrying about money again, it doesn’t help’.

Borrowing from mates is embarrassing, having to sell clothes you actually quite like is depressing, and choosing food based on price rather than preference is a draining way to live.

People suggest things like budgeting or spreadsheets, but it doesn’t really work when you’re freelance and your earnings are irregular. I plan my money for the month but then a well-meaning member of the finance team at a theatre will forget to pay an invoice and I don’t get paid.

Or a different job comes through early, but that money was supposed to be for next month so you have to be even more careful. 

I’m not seeking pity here, and I know it won’t be terminal. Many people have it much worse than me. My work is good and growing and, with any luck, the current financial climate will ease a bit and things will get easier.

My partner will return to work, my eldest will be eligible for free childcare soon and we will find ways to get through these tough times.

But I won’t forget these tough months and the impact it’s had on my mood, my relationship and even my health. 

People complaining about being skint when they have thousands of pounds in savings makes my blood boil. 

But what I would really like to see change is the attitude people have towards anyone who is struggling financially.

Regularly you see people on Twitter to reprimand and ridicule those who are struggling, especially people within my generation.

We’re told to lose the lattes, avoid avocado on toast and to buckle down and get by in ways that older generations supposedly did when they were our age.

It’s not just a patronising tone, it’s completely ignorant to a whole class of people who aren’t making choices, who are doing whatever they can to survive.

It’s bollocks, everyone knows it is, and I’m lucky enough to be able to shrug it off as this.

There are plenty of people genuinely struggling, who can’t feed their kids or heat their homes. And a kinder tone towards these people would be the first steps in societal change towards helping people who are properly, properly skint.

Not just people who say they are.