Mr. Goxx, crypto-investing hamster that rivaled Warren Buffett, has died

The most famous rodent to boast a financial portfolio has passed away. 

Mr. Goxx — a Twitch-streaming, cryptocurrency-trading hamster who beat the performance of Warren Buffett from his tiny desk in a cage somewhere in Germany — is dead. 

“We feared this day like no other and are truly shocked for it to happen just now,” Mr. Goxx’s anonymous, 30-something German owners tweeted to the rodent’s 18,000 Twitter followers Wednesday. “In deep sorrow, we have to announce the loss of our beloved furry friend.”

The furball’s financial career and subsequent internet fame were born of a joke between the men, who wanted to prove a point about the randomness of success in the digital currency industry.

“We were joking about whether my hamster would be able to make smarter investment decisions than we humans do,” the pair told the BBC. “It seems like most people from our generation see no other chance than throwing a lot of their savings on the crypto market, without having a clue what’s going on there.”

Their joke became quite the career for Mr. Goxx, who achieved great success and celebrity by making decisions by running on his “intention wheel” and triggering trading sessions. 

“Mr. Goxx has brought joy to people all across the globe and reminded us not to take life too seriously. He shed light into dark moments of pandemic, inflation and many kinds of trouble,” continued the eulogy via Twitter thread. 

The pocket-sized investor “showed no signs of serious illness” ahead of his passing, aside from “some kidney issues.” After eating a normal amount of hamster food Sunday, he stopped eating and died peacefully in his sleep Monday morning.

“For us humans behind Goxx Capital, the situation is hard to grasp and questions about a possible continuance of the project are not relevant to us at the moment (for now, we will leave everything as is),” wrote Mr. Goxx’s mourning fathers, ending the thread with a thank you to Mr. Goxx, who they note will never die in the cryptoverse. 

“You will be missed, and your memory will live forever on the blockchain.”