Man leaves girlfriend ‘furious’ after he asks to sleep in separate beds

‘I (28 male) have been dating my girlfriend Sarah (29 female) for the past three years,’ he wrote.

‘The relationship has been going great and I love how amazing she is but lately I have been tired.

‘We decided to move into a new apartment two months ago and I also took a new job. The new job has been a bit stressful compared to my last role. 

‘Luckily I am still getting time for my personal hobbies like going to the gym and going out with Sarah.’

He went on to say that he’s been sleeping alone for 15 years and that getting rest with someone else in the bed is ‘bothering’ him.

‘I am used to the peace of sleeping alone,’ he said. 

‘My girlfriend likes to sleep with a low fan sleep, takes up too much space in bed and most importantly she snores sometimes which ruins my sleep completely. 

‘She also has no concern for my sleep as she wakes up before me and either switches on lights or makes noises. 

‘I am used to sleeping seven to eight hours a day but for the past few months I have been sleeping only four or five hours because of this.’

Eventually, he got frustrated and confronted her by proposing separate beds, leaving his girlfriend ‘furious’ at the suggestion.

‘She believes sleeping together is a sign of love between a couple and that she likes cuddling or sleeping on top of me and says I should get used to it,’ he wrote. 

‘She now thinks that I don’t find her attractive but that isn’t true at all. I love my girlfriend but all I want is a peaceful good night’s sleep.’

What’s the verdict?

The overwhelming verdict is that he’s well within his rights to request sleeping alone, especially on work nights.  

‘This is huge for me too,’ wrote one commenter. 

‘My husband is a very light sleeper. He can’t sleep if we’re touching, so I don’t. 

‘If I have to get up before him, I leave my clothes outside the door the night before so in the morning I can get up quietly and get dressed in the bathroom without disturbing him. I use a vibrating wrist watch alarm. I never turn on the light if he’s asleep. 

‘None of this is difficult to do. Your girlfriend needs some elementary lessons in consideration for a partner. 

‘But also, your sleep takes priority, because it’s essential to your health, and if you need to spend a little while cuddling her and then go off to your own room to sleep, there is no reason you shouldn’t.’

Another agreed, saying: ‘Tell her that another sign of love between a couple is concern for the wellbeing of the other person and that includes sleep. 

‘Surely there is a way to work out a system where she doesn’t have to turn on the lights and/or make noise?’

They added that her behaviour constituted a red flag, calling the man’s partner ‘selfish’, ‘entitled’, and ‘me me me’.

However, others understood where the girlfriend was coming from, stating that sleeping alone would be a ‘dealbreaker’ for them.

‘I’m reading so many couples below sleep apart and it’s the key to their happiness,’ wrote one Redditor.

‘Sleeping in bed with my husband is one of my favourite parts of being married.  I hate sleeping alone. I hate when we’re apart one night. I don’t know if I could be as happy with him if we didn’t both love sharing a bed.’

Another said: ‘This is crazy to me as well. This would be a deal breaker in my relationship. My girlfriend also says cuddling, falling asleep together and waking up together is one of her favourite things in the world. 

‘This would be the end of my relationship for sure.’

Do you have a story to share?