Former “Boy Meets World” star Maitland Ward shocked the world when she said goodbye to the squeaky-clean world of Disney and hello to porn. Her decision to ditch mainstream Hollywood for raunchy, X-rated content stemmed in part from limited opportunities due to typecasting — a problem she’s all too familiar with, having played beloved redhead Rachel McGuire and, as a teen, Jessica Forrester on CBS soap “The Bold and the Beautiful” — as well as her own sexual awakening, realizing she can express her own desires and still be a respected entertainer. A champion of sex positivity, Ward, 45, says her transition into adult film work has finally given her challenging acting roles she’s always craved and granted her recognition — her pornographic debut landed her an Adult Video News award (often called the Oscars of adult entertainment) and support from fans who admire her for living her truth. In her new book, “RATED X” (Atria Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster, out Sept. 6), Ward calls out the double standards placed on young women in Hollywood, often barred from being “too sexy” but still preyed upon by the male-dominated industry. Here, Ward writes of one such insidious behind-closed-doors encounter when she said she was forced to strip down for “Boy Meets World” show bosses, long before she realized the power of getting naked on her own terms. — Nadine DeNinno
I was asked to try on lingerie for [“Boy Meets World”] producers in the office. This happened more than once, as Rachel was the only character to consistently take off her clothes. An assistant would gather me from my dressing room and take me upstairs where I’d be provided with a series of options, some playful and girlish, some so provocative I knew that Disney would never approve them, but still I would try them on. I’d strip down behind a curtain so thin I’m sure they could see the silhouette of my naked form. As I changed, I could hear the group of them — mostly men — making small talk and laughing as an audience would before a show. When I stepped out, I was directed to stand in the center while they’d make their judgments on whether it showed too much or not nearly enough to get the boys excited.
“You’re like a daughter to me,” Michael [Jacobs, the show’s creator] said, shaking his head, with a laugh of embarrassment.
And then I’d be directed to try on something else.
Michael specifically picked out the famed purple number for the episode where Rachel danced around washing dishes to teach Cory [Ben Savage] and Shawn [Rider Strong], as well as their girlfriends, a lesson. “It’s not too much but just enough; those guys will go crazy,” he said. During the final season, Rachel moved in with the girls after separating from Jack [Matthew Lawrence]. They said it would expand my storylines, but really it just felt like it allowed for another set of boys to ogle me.
When it came to Rachel, the writers portrayed Cory and Shawn like f – – kboys. They were these great guys to the women they loved, but when Rachel came around, they got sexually overcharged, which seemed to morph into something dismissive and edged with hostility. When Rachel didn’t perform the way they liked or expected, they got angry. Unlike Eric [Will Friedle] and Jack, who tripped all over themselves to earn Rachel’s affections, these two thought it would be fun to sneak around while she was in the shower and rummage through her diary pages and panties. When she caught them, clad only in a towel, she was livid, demanding they respect her privacy. They wrote her off as being sensitive and not any fun, and even their girlfriends agreed with them. Rachel decided that the way to teach these boys a lesson was to get down to her undergarments, because how else could you teach men not to invade your privacy other than dancing around in some version of your underwear? Of course, dancing around on your own in this way would not be acceptable; it would mean you were morally questionable. This became Rachel’s mode of operation: if you can’t nag them to death, hypnotize them while half-naked into doing what you want.
I can’t say I didn’t like the attention. The audience hooted and whistled when I came onstage and started to dance. There was something exhilarating about eyeballs fixed on my scantily clad frame, even though I wasn’t all that comfortable with my body yet. The degree of my nudity wasn’t the problem I had with the whole thing. In fact, if they had come to me and asked my thoughts on the matter, I would have had a lot of fun with it. What bothered me was that I could never get past the feeling that the writers were having fun at my expense and devaluing me — like I was a punch line to a joke I would never be privy to.
Wearing no clothes on your own terms is a lot different from being naked for someone else.
“Can’t we find out more about Rachel and who she is?” I asked Michael as we rehearsed for Cory and Topanga’s [Danielle Fishel] wedding. While the year prior there seemed like there was some plan for her, this season she seemed like a prop — a failed experiment but one that still provided thrills.
“Rachel is great. Everyone loves her,” he said. I knew this couldn’t be true. She had only three personality traits: nag, tease or complete ditz. And she seemed to navigate all three without any real rhyme or reason.
“I have a few ideas,” I said, though not loudly enough to prevent him talking over me.
“We’ll get to it,” he said.
“You should play dumb more.” This came from Jerry Levine during rehearsal. Jerry became known playing Stiles from ‘Teen Wolf’ and was also one of our directors and Michael’s longtime friend. “You’re more likable that way; sometimes you come off as a lot.” And the way he said it, I felt like he was taking a personal shot.
I didn’t have the nerve to speak up. I just got quiet and started to question myself. Was I asking too much for Rachel to have more value? Was I causing waves because I didn’t just read my lines and shut my mouth? I danced for them without complaint, and even when I was cold and felt fat, I smiled as I stood there in that room and tried on all those outfits. Wasn’t all that enough? Was I being punished?
I wore a crop top one week, and Michael called me aside. “What are you doing?” he asked me as he pointed to my bare belly. It wasn’t an especially sexy top. It had Oompa Loompas on it. Will and I had just laughed about that, and he teased he wanted to borrow it.
“I just thought it was cute,” I said.
“Put on a sweater for rehearsal. You don’t want everyone thinking you’re desperate.”
I didn’t feel desperate, and I certainly wasn’t trying to portray anything like that.
“You have talent. You should take yourself seriously,” he said. I didn’t understand how showing my belly button had anything to do with the depth of my talent or character, or why it was okay to show myself like this on the show but not on my own time.
I put on the sweater.
Copyright © 2022 by Maitland Ward. From RATED X by Maitland Ward. Reprinted by permission of Atria Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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