‘When I was going through all my treatments, I was very much a closed book, thinking I could deal with it myself. But if I could go back in time and talk to myself or anyone else, I’d say you’re not placing a burden on those close to you by admitting things are wrong.’
When Guildford account manager Adam was first diagnosed with testicular cancer seven years ago, it was shattering. He didn’t know how to broach the subject with his family, or how to lean on them when going through chemotherapy. He would face a different set of concerns five years later, when he had surgery on his lung which left him with a back scar.
But luckily for Adam, his mum and sister were right by his side. Theirs was a close-knit family ever since his dad had died when he was just 15, and Adam credits his mum Kathy in particular with not giving up on him.
Not only was she there to deliver southern fried chicken and coronation chicken when his chemotherapy led to very specific food cravings, she provided the emotional support Adam needed too.
‘There were other candidates too, but nobody seemed as determined as her in seeing me through this and putting up with my negativity sometimes and always seeing the good in me even when I couldn’t see it myself,’ says Adam.
‘With cancer it feels like you’ve stepped into a parallel life, you’re inhabiting someone else’s body, the way food tastes, what you smell, the energy you have, your outlook on life. It feels like nothing remains of what you were.’
Living with cancer isn’t easy, and Adam found that the toll it takes on your mental health can be as difficult as the physical toll:
‘A cancer diagnosis doesn’t just affect physical health, but it can affect mental health too – both of the person with cancer and those close to them. Common feelings people experience include anxiety, distress, and depression.
‘Many people aren’t prepared for the emotional impact that cancer may have on them, even though it’s common to have many different emotions.’
Just doing normal activities like going to the pub with friends helped, too.
‘My advice would be to work out what those things are which you enjoyed about your previous life and do what you can to connect with those.’
For Melissa, a 51-year-old mother of two, her breast cancer diagnosis also led her to trying new things. While her family and tight-knit group of friends were a great support, being diagnosed during the Covid lockdown led Melissa to turn to an online community as well, connecting with other people living with cancer through social media.
‘On social media, it felt different,’ she explains. ‘I was able to share my cancer journey a lot which helped me as I got so much support. And there is a role reversal now, I am able to help other people going through what I went through.’
Staying positive was also a key part of Melissa’s approach to her treatment, especially for her husband and two sons.
‘All the time I’d do silly photos. One on my profile is me with a bald head and boxing gloves because it was my second chemo and I was saying ‘I’m coming for you chemo.’
On her birthday, Melissa treated herself to a stylish pink wig.
‘I wanted to feel better about how I actually looked, so would try to take nice photos after hours of applying make-up, false lashes and my pink wig. To be fair, we were in lockdown so I didn’t have a lot else to do!
‘I tried to balance the glossy with the reality, and the next day posted a video showing the true me with no make-up or wig. I think it’s important to be real but still try to have fun.’
Best friend Marina and a group of close-knit friends also kept Melissa’s spirits up, sending her a gift from fancy London department stores every Sunday following a Friday chemo session. They called themselves the ‘Pink Ladies’.
‘They got together to send me gifts like a box of pistachio shortbread biscuits that I love, body lotion, a scarf, a heart-shaped keyring. It’s those little things that brighten your day,’ Melissa explains.
When it comes to helping yourself feel better during treatment, Dany Bell, strategic advisor for treatment, medicines and genomics, at Macmillan, says those little treats can go a long way.
‘Cancer treatment can cause weight loss or gain, hair loss, rashes, scars and coupled with fatigue and emotional impact it can add to how people perceive themselves. Therefore, using beauty products such as nail polish and make-up, can make people feel better about their image.
‘Equally if skin feels dry and beauty products can address this it improves how people feel and helps them look after their skin through treatment.’
If she had her time again, Melissa says she would tell herself to slow down and rest more, and it’s something she’s brought into her post-treatment life, too.
‘I’ve realised the value of treating yourself with time. Before I’d never sit down and read a book because I would think it was time wasted. Now if I’m feeling tired, I’m going to sit down, or go and sit in the sun or go for a walk. I chill out and do things for me.’
Looking after your skin during cancer treatment, according to an expert
Consultant dermatologist Dr Justine Hextall has seen first-hand what a difference a gentle skincare routine can make for those undergoing cancer treatment – combining her dermatological expertise with her husband’s experience in oncology.
Some treatments can cause dry and itchy skin, while radiotherapy can leave skin sore and some more modern treatments can lead to sensitivity or sore, red hands and feet. But she believes knowing about this can help people make informed decisions with their skincare.
‘First, find the most gentle cleanser for your skin,’ she explains. ‘Harsh cleaners can disrupt the natural microbiome of our skin, which is made up of thousands of healthy bacteria, and that’s not good.
‘You want a moisturiser that is going to really help your skin. I want one that is going to draw moisture to the skin so contain humectants, for example glycerine, panthenol B5, hyaluronic acid.
‘Then you want to seal that skin to keep the moisture in, so things like shea butter which is very like our own fatty acids. You want a moisturiser to mimic a healthy skin barrier. You also don’t want too many preservatives or perfumes that can irritate skin.’
She uses La Roche-Posay, the #1 dermatologist recommended brand in the UK*. The brand has several skincare products that are also suitable for patients undergoing cancer treatment.
She recommends Lipikar Moisturising Balm AP+M for hydration and the Toleriane Dermo-Cleanser for gentle cleansing. She also recommends the Cicaplast Repairing Balm B5+ that can be used on any dry patches to hydrate and protect skin with its occlusive barrier texture.
‘The skin is what we show to the world and it can be a marker of what we’re going through,’ Justine explains. ‘So if we can make the skin look as healthy as possible, then that’s really important for that person. To give them that confidence to be themselves.’
Learn more about Cancer Support by La Roche-Posay at LaRoche-Posay.co.uk
*Study of 74 Consultant Dermatologists Jan-May 2022.
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