Like Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsay, we know the sheer joy of age gap friendships
Their on-screen characters are thick as thieves, but Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsay have also formed a heart-warming friendship IRL after spending a year filming The Last of Us.
Their friendship, which spans an age gap of 29 years, has seen the pair gushing about their great father-daughter like bond, with Pedro even calling Bella a ‘blessing’ in an interview.
They even have adorable nicknames for each other in the form of ‘Bellie’ and ‘Pedge’.
But apart from being very wholesome, what does an age gap friendship bring to the table?
Dr Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist, who has had a friendship like this herself, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The benefits of age gaps friendships are that you get different insight into some of the things you might be experiencing.
‘You get a different perspective from a completely different age, which can be useful and we might take advice from people of a different age that we would maybe find patronising from someone our own age.
‘Whereas someone older or wiser and we respect what they’ve lived through, it can feel like a more compassionate angle. If it’s people our own age we might feel like it comes from a place of competitiveness or they haven’t got our best interest at heart.’
Marianne’s friend Ruby was 87 when she met her at the age of 39, and she says that friendships like this allow us to learn so much.
‘We learn a lot about what life has been like for them and we can also see some of the perpetuating cycles of some of the things we think are just about us and how we live our lives. We see it’s a life stage thing, “I’m not the first person to ever feel this way or think this way”,’ says Dr Marianne.
‘Even things like heartbreak and grief can be really difficult at the time, but seeing and having first hand experience from people who can help us navigate those tricky patches to give us hope we will feel better in future can be really useful.’
But an age gap friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger one of the pair. It allows the person who is older to ‘feel connected to different life stages that they might have thought had passed them by’.
Dr Marianne explains: ‘For example, my friend, she had a grandchild who was much older and being around my children who were very young at the time, it helped bring life and joy to her in a way that she hadn’t expected at this time in her life. It’s that opportunity to be part of something.
‘You never know when we might be able to benefit by an extra friend. It’s definitely a way to combat loneliness. It can be enlivening to have these different perspectives and different ways of thinking about problems to reframe the way we think about things.’
Ben Thornbury, 18, is very grateful for his friendship with 64-year-old Julie Taylor. The pair are both from Malmesbury in Wiltshire and they’ve known each other since Ben was 12.
Ben tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I met her over the fence when she was doing some gardening. I asked her if she wanted help with cutting her lawn and she said yes and it went on from there. Since then we have made such a difference.
‘Julie asked if I wanted to help clean up in the local community, with things like cutting the overgrown hedges and picking up litter around the town. Of course I said yes because if it was to help the local community then I was interested.’
Ben says what he appreciates most about the friendship is Julie’s ‘knowledge and advice’ and how she is ‘always willing to take on new ideas’.
‘I’m so thankful as I have learned a lot over the years from her and this has helped me develop myself as a person and all of the stuff Julie has taught me will help me in later life,’ he adds.
‘My favourite memory with Julie is probably when we planted all these trees for the environment in Malmesbury.
‘It really tested our friendship to the max because this was a lot of trees, 225 to be exact. And we had no land to plant these trees on at first but we managed to find a place to plant all these trees in the end.’
Charlie Rosse, 30, also treasures memories that she shares with her friend Anne, 60, who she met through Instagram six and a half years ago.
‘She was one of the first people I followed when I created The Roaming Reader, my book related Instagram and she was already quite popular in the bookstagram community due to her beautiful bookshop Addyman Books,’ explains Charlie.
Six months after messaging about their favourite books, Anne hosted a meet-up for book lovers at her shop in Hay on Wye.
‘Since then we have only become closer, discussing all aspects of our day to day lives. We talk on the phone often and I have stayed with her regularly,’ says Charlie.
‘She is only a couple of years younger than my Mum and her children are my age so in some instances we have that dynamic. We joke that I am her bookish daughter and she’s my bookish Mum.’
Charlie and Anne have plenty of fond memories together, built on their shared passion for books.
‘Anne makes me howl with laughter every time I am with her. Her humour is infectious. I have fond memories of staying in her beautiful shop and browsing the shelves after it is closed to all the other customers.
‘On one such occasion, there were a few of us, the lights were dimmed and we browsed the shelves with wine in hand. The atmosphere was electric, almost like a speakeasy.
‘Another time which stands out, is when Anne introduced me to the children’s author Jacqueline Wilson who is a close friend of hers.
‘Anne knew I was a massive fan of Jacqueline Wilson’s work, I had devoured her books throughout my childhood and I was not mentally prepared for the unexpected meeting.
‘I could barely speak and I remember Anne out of the corner of my eye laughing at how star struck I was, as I tried to formulate some sort of normal sentence.’
Charlie appreciates the ‘calmness within the friendship’ the most.
She says: ‘I feel I can be completely myself around her, whether I am at my lowest or my highest and she will accept me no matter what.
‘There is no expectation to be anything other than what I am, because she has gone through everything before and knows that there is a process to life that will always play itself out.
‘She can support me because of her wisdom and lived experiences. With my younger friends, we are all going through similar stresses and worries, but with Anne and I, because we are at different places in our lives, it allows us to offer a different perspective to each other which is incredibly helpful.
‘I benefit hugely from her wisdom. I think we are also very aware that we have actively chosen each other. I formed relationships with many of my younger friends due to circumstance where we have been shoved together – school, university, work.
‘But Anne and I have chosen to be friends due to our similar passions and temperaments and that bonds us with an incredible strength.’
Emily Bain, 49, is very close with her friend Griselda, 74, whom she formed a relationship with while in Annecy, France, during the early months of the pandemic.
Emily says: ‘My husband had returned to the UK to work for six months and I was left alone in our village whilst he was stuck in the UK.
‘I didn’t know that many people before I met Griselda. Lockdown in France had very strict rules and you were only allowed to move around 1km from your house.
‘She was a breath of fresh air – nearly 30 years older than me – closer to my mother’s age, so I thought that gap would be a barrier but definitely not!
‘She’s extremely young at heart, wise, very funny, brutally honest, kind and game for anything.’
Emily also felt that Griselda helped remind her how special her mother was.
She says: ‘My mother was terminally ill during this time in the UK and I felt Griselda was a great reminder how special Mums are. I found it comforting to spend time with her.
‘It felt like an injection of UK home and motherhood. Griselda has a refreshing outlook on life and it turned out that my mother and her had shared friends through the army connections.
‘My mother passed away in summer 2022 and I feel she and Griselda would have really got on, however they sadly never met. She was an enormous quiet support and I absolutely adore her company.’
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