Let’s Talk Sex | Bad Sex, Bad Memory: The Surprising Connection Between Sex and Memory

Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.

To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.”

In this article, we will discuss the surprising link between sexual activity and memory function.

Have you ever had a steamy encounter with someone new, only to struggle to remember their name the next morning? You’re not alone. As it turns out, there’s a surprising connection between sex and memory. When you’re in the heat of passion with a new partner, your brain tends to focus on the sensory experience, not on committing details to memory. All that heavy breathing and physical stimulation leads to the release of hormones that can actually impair your memory formation. The good news is that this effect is usually temporary. But for a short time after intimacy, you may find yourself a bit foggy on the specifics.

How Sex Affects Your Memory

When you get intimate with someone, your brain goes into overdrive. All your senses are heightened, neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin are flooding your system, and your memory centers are working hard to encode the experience. This means sex can actually have a big impact on your memory, for better and for worse.

For one, having sex may boost your memory. Studies show people who have frequent sex have better verbal and visual memory. Sex also increases neural connections in the hippocampus, the part of your brain responsible for memory formation and storage. The hormones released during sex, like dopamine, adrenaline and norepinephrine, activate the arousal and reward centers in your brain, making memories of the experience stronger.

On the flip side, bad sex can negatively impact your memory. If you have an awkward or unpleasant sexual encounter, your brain may suppress memories of the event as a defence mechanism. But this can backfire, making it harder to recall good sexual experiences as well and even dampening your libido over time.

Link Between Sex and Memory Formation

When you have an enjoyable sexual experience, your brain actually forms strong memories of it. The link between sex and memory formation is quite literal. During sex, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine which activate the parts of your brain responsible for arousal, pleasure, and memory formation.

• Dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, strengthens the connections between the neurons in your brain that are firing during sex, making the memory more vivid.

• Oxytocin, the “love hormone,” intensifies the emotions you feel during sex, cementing them into your memory.

• Norepinephrine, a stress hormone, also activates your amygdala, the part of your brain involved in emotional arousal and memory.

The link between sex and memory also explains why certain smells, songs, or locations can instantly transport you back to a memorable encounter. When your senses are highly aroused during sex, your brain actually associates the sensory details of the experience with the pleasure, making them potent memory triggers.

Tips for Improving Your Memory and Sex Life

• Exercise your body and mind: Exercise increases blood flow to your brain and has been shown to boost cognitive functions, including memory. Try aerobic exercise like walking, swimming or yoga for at least 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. Exercise also releases endorphins that improve your mood and act as natural painkillers. This can enhance your sex life by increasing libido and intensifying pleasure.

• Get enough sleep: Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night to consolidate your memories and improve recall. Lack of sleep can negatively impact your memory, concentration and sex drive. Sleep also gives your body time to replenish hormones like testosterone that fuel libido and healthy sexual function.

• Practice mindfulness: Spending a few minutes each day focused on your breathing or the present moment can do wonders for your memory and sex life. Mindfulness meditation decreases stress and distracting thoughts, making it easier to focus on your partner and the pleasurable sensations of sex. It also strengthens the connections between brain cells, enhancing memory and cognitive abilities.

• Try brain training: Use apps and games that challenge your brain by exercising skills like logic, problem-solving, memory, and focus. A few minutes of brain training a day can strengthen neural connections in your brain and improve cognitive functions. Sharper thinking and better concentration will enhance your sex life by helping you focus on your partner’s desires and the pleasurable sensations of intimacy.

• Limit alcohol and stay hydrated: While a drink or two can loosen you up and boost arousal, too much alcohol impairs memory, judgment and performance. It also dehydrates you, and hydration is essential for your brain and sexual health. Aim for 6 to 8 glasses of water per day to keep your memory sharp and libido strong.

• Reduce stress: Sex also lowers levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can negatively impact memory. Too much cortisol hampers the growth of new neural connections in the brain and even kills existing neurons. By lowering cortisol, sex helps your brain stay sharp as you age.

Conclusion

So, there you have it. Your memory and your sex life are more closely linked than you probably realised. When your sex life is lacking, your memory may suffer. And when your memory is impaired, your sex life could take a hit. The good news is that you can work to improve both. Focus on connecting intimately with your partner, try new experiences together, use all your senses, take your time. Your memory and sex life will thank you. And the benefits extend far beyond the bedroom. Stronger relationships, improved self-esteem, less stress and anxiety, better health — it’s a win all around. So do yourself and your partner a favour — make sex and memory a priority. Your mind and body will reap the rewards.

Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain is the winner of the Swasth Bharat Rattan Award and is a Certified and Licensed Sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently a Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.