Joe Rogan’s 3 Words That Actually Brought Smiles to Our Faces

Looks like Samuel L. Jackson has proven once again to be a very wise man, indeed… though we can say without hesitation that we shared his wisdom on this one. Because like us, Jackson wasn’t buying into Spotify podcast host Joe Rogan‘s “apology” and rationale for using the N-word. As a brief refresher, Grammy-winner India Arie was one of the first to publically call out and cite examples of Rogan’s use of the word (24 times across 23 clips), which resulted in the streaming service pulling a crapload of episodes and Rogan offering what was essentially a non-apology apology because I can’t count too many legit apologies that also include a line or two bashing social media backlash as being a “political hit job.”

“I never used it to be racist, because I’m not racist, but whenever you’re in a situation where you have to say ‘I’m not racist,’ you’ve f***ed up, and I clearly have f***ed up,” Rogan offered as a defense in his post. Because the only thing better than a white person telling another white person they’re not racist is a white person telling themselves they’re not racist. In fact, Rogan is so not racist that he can easily explain away why referring to a black neighborhood in Philadelphia as “Planet of the Apes” isn’t racist. Because when it comes from someone so not racist as Rogan? It’s entertainment! “I was trying to make the story entertaining. I did not, nor did I ever say that black people are apes, but it sure f***ing sounded like that,” Rogan said in his attempted explanation. “It wasn’t a racist story, but it sounded terrible” And that’s just a few lines from the video, you’ll have to give me clicks to check out the full thing here.

That brings us back to today, about two months after this mess went down, and why Jackson and everyone else was right in assuming that Rogan’s post from earlier this year was just overflowing with bullshit and finely-crafted PR speak. Because this week, Rogan slipped back into the level of “bro mode” reserved only for those who were proudly part of The Man Show‘s hosting B-team, the eighth funniest person on News Radio, a mediocre MMA announcer, and a stand-up comic I know more for getting his rocks off policing other comics than actually being funny. Though you can check out the podcast here, Rogan decided he needed to look butch in front of MMA fighter Josh Barnett… but in the process, Rogan did offer us a small but important sliver of hope on an otherwise shitty day. The key to getting him to quit. “If I become something different because it grew bigger, I will quit. If it gets to a point that I can’t do it anymore, where I have to do it in some sort of weird way where I walk on eggshells and mind my P’s and Q’s, f**k that!” Rogan said during the show. So not using the N-word and not comparing Black people to apes is what Rogan would consider walking on “eggshells” and minding his “P’s and Q’s”? To be clear, Spotify set the bar for their “Million Dollar Man-Child” as low as you can go. Like, they dug a 6-foot deep hole and threw the bar down in it. And yet Rogan apparently still considers that asking way too much of him.

But for now, we’ll warm our hands on the fact that Rogan’s bothered enough to start whining about leaving on his show. We’ll take the little victories wherever we can get them. “I will quit.” Dare to dream, people. Dare to dream…