Jeremy Clarkson, 61, has had his work cut out with taking on a 1000 acre working farm, and even he admitted he didn’t realise quite how many issues he would encounter. It was a big challenge and one help taken on admirably, but he described it as “a bottomless pit of misery and despair” that he’s currently “wallowing in”.
In his latest column for The Times, The Grand Tour host revealed he finally feels like a farmer due to all the moaning he’s been doing.
“I can now whinge for hours, without repetition or hesitation,” he wrote before listing his pet-peeves that have been causing him havoc for months.
“The weather. Defra. Carrie Johnson. That b****y alpaca. Chris Packham. Brexit. Badgers. Ramblers. The timber shortage.
He went on: “Flea beetles. Black-grass. Sheep.
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“There was more too,” he sighed.
“Because the 29 tonnes of actual barley we’d sent him had to be dried before it could be turned into hen food, we’d be billed £256.
“Still, at least things then got worse, because five of the tonnes we’d harvested wouldn’t fit in the lorry and as it wasn’t worth getting another truck for such a small amount, it’s been sitting in the open for a week, becoming crusty and damp and useless.
“So that’s another £700 down the drain,” he moaned.
Jeremy also pointed out that there was another big problem that lay ahead.
“Because we still have half a big field of barley left to harvest, I can’t get next year’s oil-seed rape in the ground,” he explained.
“Which means that when we do the dreaded flea beetle will be out there, knife and fork at the ready and its napkin tucked in.
“Still, I guess that if the rape is all devoured by beetles, at least I won’t have to worry about the pigeons eating it.”
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