SMASHED on super-skunk and lager, a British tourist staggers from a sex worker’s red-lit booth to a round of applause from his waiting friends.
Nearby, a bouncer at the infamous Bananenbar strip club told me: “It’s why many Brits come to Amsterdam — for the sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll.”
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But not for much longer if the Dutch capital’s mayor has her way — Amsterdam is warning young British men aged 18 to 35 looking for a “messy night” that they are no longer welcome.
After decades of them pumping cash into the local economy, UK stag parties have been targeted in an online advertising campaign urging them to “stay away” if they plan to overindulge.
One local politician backing the campaign described the drug-taking visitors as “glassy-eyed tourist zombies”.
Amsterdam is the latest European holiday spot to shun British revellers, after Magaluf, Lanzarote and Ibiza made similar calls.
Yet amid the canalside warrens of sleazy peep shows, smoke-filled cannabis cafes and psychedelic “head shops” the party was very much still in full swing this week.
It is shortly after 11am and a Yorkshire couple in their early thirties have just paid around £35 for enough Space Shuttles and Dolphin’s Delight truffles to send them on a five-hour hallucinogenic trip.
Asked by saleswoman Olivia Kierz-kowska at the Smartshop truffle store if they have experienced psychedelic drugs before, the hoodie-wearing young Englishwoman said: “I have but he hasn’t.”
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After Olivia warns them not to mix the truffles — legal here — with alcohol or other drugs, the pair rejoin the tourist throng.
Olivia, 30, tells me: “To be honest, young people come to Amsterdam just to get f***ed — whether it’s drugs, drink or sex workers. But now the city is changing. They only want rich people to come, for a different kind of fun. It’s about money, money, money.”
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And what about the city hall trying to deter rowdy Brits?
Olivia, from Poland, added: “British guys are quite loud, so they get noticed, but their behaviour is no worse than other nationalities.”
At Big Ben Bar — which has Premier League football highlights on two giant TVs — bargirl Crina Carmen is worried by the city hall policy.
Crina, 38, said: “Around 80 per cent of our customers are British. If they don’t come it will hit Amsterdam’s economy hard. Of course they like a drink and a good time. Why not? It’s normal.”
Businesses here blame a shortage of police.
Jan Broers, 85, owner of the 25-room Royal Taste Hotel in the red-light district, reckons that showing the red card to Brits is “f-ing crazy”.
He said: “The government says they make too much noise, that they are p***ing every-where, vomiting.
“But if we get someone who isn’t respectful at our hotel, we tell the group leader, ‘No more drink’. Then all is OK.”
A short stroll away, the Green House coffee shop is filled with the fug of pre-lunch marijuana tokers.
But part-owner Joachim Helms, 50, said: “The Brits that visit our coffee shops are chilled. Look around you, there’s no alcohol, no hard drugs, no one is wasted, no shouting or aggression. Open more coffee shops so everybody is more chilled.”
Yet the city authorities have shut 26 such shops in the red-light area over the past decade, and from May smoking weed on the street will be banned.
Joachim, spokesman of the Dutch Cannabis Retailers Association, said: “If a small number of Brits are misbehaving, deal with them rather than tell all Brits to get lost.”
As night falls, the maze of neon-bathed alleyways nearby is filled with tourists gawping at lingerie-clad sex workers.
A blonde Czech woman, who asks almost £90 for 15 minutes, told me: “I start at 11am. Sometimes I have British guys waiting who have arrived straight from the airport.”
On street corners in the De Wallen district, black-clad youths hiss, “Coke?” at passers-by, offering a gram of cocaine for around £45.
A South American sex worker, who has as many as ten clients a night, told me: “Sometimes the men just want to talk, especially if they’ve done drugs. If a man’s taken too many drugs his willy doesn’t understand what his brain is telling it, so it’s a waste of time.”
At stag party favourite the Bananenbar club, manager Frank tells me: “Most of the street drugs are fake. They sell the stuff you get at the dentist that makes your gums numb. And there are guys who steal expensive watches off tourists. The real problem isn’t British tourists but the lack of police.”
Frank, 59, a former cop who patrolled the area for 34 years, added: “The Brits are party people but the Dutch behave worse.”
On a five-day break in the city, students Katie Hayward and Emilie Holmes, both 18 and from Leicester, say the banishment of Brits is “discrimination”.
A-level student Katie says: “It can be a party holiday here but you get a variety of Brits, with many coming to visit the museums as well.”
Around a million Brits visit every year and most behave well.
But from this weekend sex workers will have to quit their glass-fronted booths at 3am rather than 6am.
And there are now plans to move them to a purpose-built “erotic centre” in the suburbs.
On Thursday, some 200 banner-waving sex workers marched on Amsterdam’s city hall to confront Mayor Femke Halsema.
Ms Halsema, 56, told them: “The problems we have are not because of you. They are the result of overtourism, of crime. But we have to find a solution.”
Her words failed to calm the sex workers, who fear earlier closing times, and their booths being moved, will hit them hard.
Russian Ana, with rouge lipstick and a red mask, told me: “They’re trying to destroy the red-light area but the tourists visit for the girls.”
She added: “We pay taxes, rent and have to support families.”
As for the move against British men, Ana, 32, added: “It’s not nice. They come for fun and leave happy — and that makes us happy.”
Ecuadorian trans woman Kenya, who has sold sex in the city for 27 years, told me: “I love my job. The mayor’s campaign is wrong. It’s part of the city’s culture, our work.”
Criticising the purge of British stag parties, Kenya, 50, added: “It’s discrimination. The British are some of my favourite customers. They’re nice and they’re generous. Sometimes they are rowdy but I don’t see any problems.”
Mila, of the Prostitute Information Centre, says 40 per cent of the windows have already closed.
But she added: “Sex workers have been here for 800 years, mass tourism is a new thing.”
The city hall ads show a young man staggering in the street and being handcuffed by cops, with a warning of fines of over £120 and a criminal record. But authorities say they are targeting only “nuisance tourists” planning to “go nuts”.
One teenage Brit did admit to me he had a “whitey” after a few joints and “quite a few beers”, but added: “I was fine after I threw up.”
Most young Brits I met did not match the city hall claims, though.
Accountant Max Turnball, 18, from Carlisle, on a break with three pals, said: “We’ve come for the museums and at night a few beers.”
Alex Waite, 21, an RAF worker from Nottingham, said: “It’s a more refined style of drinking here, then Brits come along and are a bit louder. But we’re no more wild than anyone else.”
The city hall campaign has had some unexpected results.
British-based operator The Stag Company’s bookings are UP more than 640 per cent since it as announced.
Boss Jordan Herbert said: “We’re very grateful, it has saved us money on advertising the destination.”
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MY VIEW: LET’S GIVE IT A MISS
By Lisa Minot, Head of Travel
YET another destination that survives – and thrives – off British holidaymakers has told us we’re not welcome.
Amsterdam comes hot on the heels of Lanzarote, Majorca and Ibiza. ALL Brits are being made to pay for the excesses of a tiny minority, and as a nation we’re unfairly singled out.
And why would we want to visit somewhere we’re seen as a problem?
Brits should explore the myriad other destinations where they ARE greeted with open arms.
Other Dutch cities less than an hour away can offer plenty of fun.
For dreamy canals, cafes and fab food and shopping, little-known Utrecht punches above its weight. Grittier Rotterdam has a thriving club scene.
And why give our tourist pounds to Lanzarote when you can save a pretty penny and enjoy the same sun and dramatic landscapes in Cape Verde?
Majorca and Ibiza may be trying to tempt wealthier tourists but risk sending themselves into oblivion.
Those seeking the same magical beaches and chilled club culture would do better to look to hip Hvar, in Croatia, with its trendy music scene or buzzing Budva, in Montenegro, for its open-air clubs and international DJs.
Places that paint our youth as a problem do so at their peril.
With social media, the young are looking farther afield for holidays. They’ve done the old favourites as kids and want somewhere different.
Destinations that turn their back on us may soon rue the day they did.
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