In the modern world, are funerals neccessary? Jemima Hughes – Jarvis, Notting Hill and Ealing High School

Recently my grandad sadly passed away and we attended his funeral last week. He had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for seven years.  During this time he had faded away, from a cheerful, energetic man to a confused, vacant person who didn’t recognise any of us or even remember who he was.  It was heartbreaking for our family and in recent years we had often not been able to visit him or when we did it wasnt in a way we would like to remember him. 

So when he died, peacefully, at the start of this year, everyone felt a sense of relief that his suffering was over.  We talked about how he would not have wanted to stay alive being in such a state with his dignity and personality gone forever.  Even as the family gathered together to say goodbye, we were all saying that it was a blessing he was gone as his mind was now at rest. His last few years were not happy years and he was in pain, 

As the funeral started I was not sure whether I should be feeling sad or relieved and it all felt quite confusing.  During the service he was remembered as a younger man with funny,touching and human stories that took us all back to my Grandad before Alzheimers.  At the crematorium we listened to some of his favourite music and watched a montage of photographs of him throughout his life – vibrant, smiling and happy.  It took me right back to the Grandad I remembered as a little girl.  I am so grateful that we had the service to remind us of the man he was for most of his life, rather than the last few years. 

I was not sure of the importance of funerals until this experience and now I realise that they are a celebration of the whole life and it’s good to have the opportunity to reflect and be grateful.