I’m looking for the man of my dreams – are you the one?

People will rightly ask me why I wanted to put myself out there this way. Frankly, it’s because it’s time to do something different.

Although I have been in love twice (and one or two occasions when I thought I was), nothing has ever quite ‘stuck.’ I have tried every dating app under the sun – almost to the point of repetitive strain injury – and realised that for me, it just may never work.

There have been so many times when I’ve thought I might just be getting somewhere when chatting with a guy, but then things have just stopped for no reason at all.

Perhaps that’s because, for some, ‘swiping’ has become the goal in itself and when they realise that the person they’re messaging wants to meet, they don’t actually feel they want any more (or we’ve got to the point of making plans to meet, he gets cold feet because he realises that I actually exist) and that’s that.

I’ve deleted so many apps so many times that all the memories seem to roll into one, but an exchange of ‘it’s been lovely talking to you, looking forward to meeting you,’ and then absolutely nothing when I follow up on the day of meeting, pretty much sums up my online dating experiences.  

The worst was when I did meet up with someone. We seemed to be having a good time, but then I realised that he was browsing a dating app right in front of me.

I’ve often wondered if my disability makes it impossible for me to live up to the images of supposed perfection that we so regularly see projected through online dating in the gay community. It’s very obvious that I use a wheelchair in most photos of me, so people don’t have to go far in order to make an instant negative judgement, if that’s what they want to do.

I have certainly felt excluded because I’m visibly different – but then I realised that I’m far from alone in facing this challenge.

While I can’t say my dating life has always been fun, my disability hasn’t stopped me from making the best of what I have, which is a lot.

I have a great family and friends and although sometimes I struggle with my confidence and some of the challenges of living in a city that – while amazing – isn’t always set up for my chair, I’ve been in stable employment at a telecoms company for nearly five years now, which I’m very happy with.

I am also a very independent traveller and have visited many countries, including Spain, Italy, Australia and Egypt (oh and the Caribbean six times). If you want a holiday, my family is the one to join!

I have three sisters, as well as a brother who lives in Melbourne and my dad is Dominican, hence the frequent trips to the Caribbean. I also have extended family connections to Egypt. The other trips are city breaks with friends.

There always seems to be a lovely looking guy who catches my eye on my travels – usually on the Tube, or just walking in the sunshine in local parks. Nice as this is of course, they’re usually with someone else!

Fancy helping me make it real with a drink in the sunshine? Mine’s a lemon and lime!

On a serious note, it would be wrong to say that I don’t have challenges. I don’t always find it easy to get out and, disability or not, I do tend to prefer quieter pursuits (I can’t stand being cold either!). But I think everyone who knows me, knows when I’m in the room – usually because I’ve taken the door off its hinges!

I wouldn’t be writing this if I could have found a relationship in a far more traditional way.

But I guarantee you that meeting me will be the best thing you’ve ever done – and you could be the one.

Are you interested? You can email Josh here.