I moved in with an 88-year-old stranger – we’ve become great friends

I’d given up my house when I went overseas so I had no ties. I’d also been living alone, and having just emerged from three months of enforced lockdown, I knew mentally and emotionally, I didn’t want to be alone for any longer. 

While reviewing my options, I heard about Supportmatch, a home share service that matches homeowners needing a little ‘at home’ support with home sharers, people looking for affordable accommodation in exchange for providing that support. It sounded like the ideal solution to my need for company while at the same time giving something back to society.

After the initial application process, I was matched with Bob, a retired, elderly gentleman in his 80s who lived alone and was quite independent but in need of help with simple tasks such as light cleaning, shopping, meal prep, etc. 

The agreement is for 15 hours a week and is quite flexible, fitting in nicely around my working hours. The 15 hours can be made up of anything – light shopping, watching TV – whatever the home owner needs. Sometimes it’s more than that but that is through choice, not necessity. 

Every week is different depending on Bob’s needs – the majority of the time is spent in companionship where we watch TV or have a coffee and a chat. I occasionally prepare a meal, or fetch something from the shops that has been forgotten, or accompany him on a short walk or to an appointment or for emergencies, such as when the bathroom flooded from a burst pipe! It doesn’t feel like work, it’s more like spending time and helping a member of the family!

We have found ourselves in a situation that benefits us both – he has help on tap and the security of knowing someone is on the premises overnight, and I have a lovely, comfortable room, my own bathroom, the run of the house, entertaining companionship and the knowledge that I am doing something that not only benefits somebody in society but is also doing me a world of good, too! It’s almost like living with family!

Waking up for the first time felt like ‘home’

Becoming a home-sharer is simple. There was an initial interview with the coordinators at Supportmatch and also a DBS check and references, but once accepted they then matched me with someone based on the information given in the forms. 

Then came a telephone chat with the home owner followed by an in-person interview at his home with his family present. We hit it off immediately due to our mutual love of football and old movies, and discovering many countries we had both visited and could talk about.

Bob also has a sharp sense of humor and he immediately discovered that I was just as much a comedian, and within a couple of weeks we began our home share adventure!

The process from start to finish only took a couple of weeks, and waking up for the first time felt like ‘home’. I think with some people you just feel like you’ve known each other forever, and so there wasn’t any awkwardness.

Bob tends to wake up quite early, but so do I, so most mornings I will go out and get the paper, make a cup of tea for us both, and then we both have a chat about the events of the coming day before he then has breakfast and I go to work. It’s a very peaceful start to each morning!

There are different reasons why people consider being a home-sharer and becoming part of someone else’s household. For me, it was a mental/emotional need rather than financial, but for many people out there it would be an excellent solution for suitable housing at a low cost, especially in the London area.

Aside from a monthly fee agreed with Supportmatch, all other bills are included. Apart from paying for your own food, (or contributing to stuff like household products for cleaning as agreed personally), there are no other fees to pay. It costs the home owner approximately £99 a month and the homesharer £169 per month.

There are so many people out there who, for whatever reason, are alone. Homesharing provides a vital solution for that need. One of the main reasons Bob wanted to do this was companionship.

While the government needs to seriously address the issues of affordable housing nationwide, any solutions will take time and there will always be those who fall through the cracks. 

If you are the homeowner needing support a few hours a week, opening your home to someone who is willing and able to give that support in exchange for having a ‘home’ is a valuable gift. 

If you are the homesharer, there is nothing more rewarding than knowing you are helping someone maintain their independence and security in their own home.

I have been here with Bob since July 2021. While I do hope to eventually work overseas again, I do not see this happening within the next year or two due to the ongoing Covid situation. I am definitely hoping to continue Homesharing until that time comes!

The downside to the arrangement is having to spend six nights out of seven each week on the premises, difficult if you like to be out overnight, but you do get a weekend off each month and four weeks of holiday a year. You are not allowed overnight guests, but you are allowed to have friends round.

Patience, kindness, understanding and the ability to anticipate needs are essential, but the benefits for both parties are immense and I, for one, have loved every moment of it so far!