‘I met my soulmate on a TV show’ — two couples talk about life after ‘Bachelor in Paradise Canada’

SPOILER ALERT: This story contains spoilers for “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

Joey Kirchner didn’t tell his mother he was returning to the reality dating show “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” until after the fact.

“My mom didn’t want me to go back on,” said Kirchner last week via Zoom. “She’s like, ‘You’re too sweet for that. You’ve just got too big a heart for that kind of thing.’”

Luckily for Kirchner, the Alberta-born “cowboy” who was the breakout star of Season 1 of “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” things turned out better this time than in 2021, when he had an acrimonious breakup with the woman he fell for while filming the Citytv show.

Not only did Kirchner leave the second season engaged to be married, he became part of “Bachelor” franchise history when his fiancée, American Tessa Tookes, became the first woman to propose on a “Bachelor” show. Kirchner followed up in Sunday’s finale by proposing right back and proffering a sparkling diamond ring after accepting a woven one from her.

Tookes, 28, an HR strategist and indie musician, sat next to Kirchner, 33, during the Zoom call, having moved from New York to Toronto in February to be with the actor and model. Joining the call from New York were Austin Tinsley and Chelsea Vaughn, an American couple who also moved in together in February after meeting while filming “Paradise Canada.”

They were the only four people out of a cast of 27 to go the distance as couples. The series, like the American original, puts singles together at a resort for several weeks with the goal being that some contestants leave engaged, or at least keep seeing each other when filming ends.

Three couples were still intact in the Season 2 finale, but one of them — Salt Lake tech CEO Garrett Aida and Vancouver interior designer and actor Meagan Morris — later broke up.

Since this conversation was happening a few days before the finale aired, the relationships between Kirchner and Tookes, and Tinsley and Vaughn were still technically secret. All four participants were bursting to make them official, however.

“We’re very, very, very excited to only have four more days left in hiding,” said Vaughn, 30, a model, podcaster and content creator who’s originally from Georgia but has been living in Brooklyn.

“But who’s counting, honestly?” joked her boyfriend Tinsley, 27, a real estate agent and personal trainer from Orange County, Calif.

It had been a long haul since “Paradise Canada” filmed last June at the Christie’s Mill Inn and Spa in Port Severn, Ont., particularly during the first eight months or so when the relationships were long distance.

“We had FaceTime dates every night and did everything we could to make it somewhat normal, but the distance sucks,” Vaughn said.

Kirchner, with his trademark bluntness, described spending more than a year hiding his relationship as “absolutely f-king terrible, the worst experience I’ve ever had in my life.”

To be clear, after moving in together, the couples didn’t hunker down out of sight in their apartments. They have been out and about and been recognized on the street in their respective cities, including at a recent Blue Jays game for Kirchner and Tookes.

But Vaughn, whose job involves posting about herself on social media, said she felt “like I was constantly lying and suppressing a giant part of my life.”

“It’s not like everything needs to happen for social media and for the public, because it doesn’t,” Kirchner added. “I mean, obviously we’re really happy just being together without having to share it across the planet, but it definitely adds stressors.”

The two couples relied on each other for moral support, with group chats and a couple of visits. And, of course, close friends and families were in on the secret.

The first thing Vaughn and Tinsley did after shooting wrapped was fly to Vaughn’s best friend’s wedding in Florida, where Tinsley met all her closest pals and got “grilled,” he said.

Tookes initially returned to New York solo but then flew to Alberta to meet Kirchner’s entire family, where they broke the news of their engagement at a cottage gathering on Canada Day.

“We were out on the dock and Joey was like, ‘You should probably bring the ring today,’” Tookes said. “So I had it in my denim shorts back pocket, which is a kind of risky place for a ring to go. And he just gathered everyone to the dock and he’s like, ‘All right, I got something to tell you. Tessa and I are engaged.’”

Now, the couple is planning a proper engagement party and Tookes is collaborating on a wedding Pinterest board with Kirchner’s mother for a potential fall 2024 ceremony.

As for Vaughn and Tinsley, “we’re just trying to move into a new apartment, get him to meet my family, travel, be happily open in a relationship that’s public,” said Vaughn.

If you’re skeptical about the long-term prospects of two couples who fell in love after 24 days (Tinsley and Vaughn) and two weeks (Kirchner and Tookes), respectively, they get it.

They themselves weren’t necessarily expecting much when they signed up for the show.

“When they finalized (my casting) on ‘Paradise Canada,’ it was just like going to summer camp and having fun, and whatever happens happens,” Tookes said.

Mind you, she did record videos for her friends before she left joking she was going to come home “with a hockey-playing fiancé from Canada.” (Yes, Kirchner does play hockey recreationally.)

“We’re all hopeless romantics, obviously, or else we wouldn’t go on this show with like a slight shimmer of a hope that we would actually meet someone,” he said. “As much as we all said, ‘Oh yeah, we went for fun,’ deep down every single one of us was like, ‘Sure would be nice, though.’”

Kirchner explained it this way: If you’re dating in the real world, especially in a big city, you might only see the other person once a week.

“So what normal people would have in a relationship … over the course of like three, four or five, maybe six months … I get that with Tessa in a week in ‘Paradise,’ and that’s with no distractions, no phone, everyone around me talking and thinking about the exact same thing, and me just being able to sit there every day and just get to know who this person is inside and out,” he said.

“The process clearly works,” Tookes added. “Like I met my soul mate on a TV show. I can’t believe that I can say that out loud. But I think we all just have like the right sauce, the right combination of, I don’t know, insanity, hope.”

Besides, “Paradise” has a better track record than parent shows “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” when it comes to lasting relationships. There have been six weddings so far of couples who met on the American “Paradise” (although one ended in divorce), including Torontonians Serena Pitt, who married Chicagoan Joe Amabile in October 2022, and Kevin Wendt, who married Floridian Astrid Loch the same month.

Speaking of Wendt, who serves as bartender on the Canadian “Paradise,” he might have company if the series returns (Citytv announced it was going on hiatus in 2024).

There’s only one way Kirchner said he would consider returning to the show. “If they don’t ask me to be a bartender I’m up and out in this entire franchise,” he joked.

Debra Yeo is an editor and a writer for the Star’s Culture section. She is based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter: @realityeo

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