A bride has taken to the internet to ask how to prevent a wedding disaster after she asked her stepfather to walk her down the aisle as he is “the only father I have ever known”.
Earlier this month, a 28-year-old bride posted to Reddit’s ‘AmItheA******’ forum to ask if she was in the wrong for refusing to let her biological father walk her down the aisle on her big day. She said that he has always disappointed her throughout her childhood, while her stepfather has always been there for her.
The bride wrote: “When I was four years old, my dad cheated on my mom with his now wife and mom divorced him…My dad reduced his time when he got married. I was six at that time and wasn’t even invited to his wedding, but his stepkids were.”
She added that her father’s excuse was not letting her attend his wedding was that she was “still bitter and will ruin the ceremony.”
After having children with his second wife, the bride’s father cut her off completely. She wrote: “Over time, he only paid just the child support and I was completely neglected….he even stopped taking me to his house for the weekends. He would ignore me.”
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The bride added the final straw was broken when her father promised to take her fishing to celebrate her graduating from school, only to yet again break his promise and abandon her. However, by this time the bride’s mother had begun dating Lenny, who would eventually become her stepdad.
The bride wrote: “Lenny was the father I never had. He was a single dad but he still treated me like his own child. He taught me how to swim, how to drive my car, and he attended all the school functions I was in. He was there every time my dad abandoned me.
“I went very low contact with my dad, only contacting him on Christmas. I don’t even call him on Father’s Day”
The bride said she is now getting phone calls from her father’s side of the family because he is “upset” and “infuriated.” She wrote: “My father is upset and I am sidelining him. According to him, he has been a great father and I am being unfair to him…I told my dad he can walk his stepdaughter down the aisle and he will only be a guest. I have made my decision. He called an asshole and told me he didn’t pay child support just so I could grow up to be an ungrateful brat.”
The bride asked if she was in the wrong, and her post quickly became popular on social media as people rushed to the comment section to tell her she was in the right.
One user responded: “Just tell him he’s still bitter and will ruin the ceremony. Uninvite him.”
Another person commented: “My wife chose not to have her father walk her down the aisle as she has a similar relationship with him as you describe. It isn’t his ‘right’ to walk you down the aisle because he donated some DNA. You owe him nothing.”
However, last week the bride posted an updated post while on her honeymoon, and said she was able to stand up for herself by writing her father a long text message, as she was worried he would keep interrupting her if she spoke to him in person.
The bride wrote: “I told him that give me one good reason that I should let him walk me down the aisle when he has never been a dad in my life…He is just some guy who used to pay my child support and with whom I share DNA.”
She added: “How can he possibly think he could “give me away” when he already gave me away 20 years ago?”
After the message, the bride got a phone call from my stepmother who said she had “Broken her father” due to how upset he was. She wrote: “I told her well if he upset by the truth then he shouldn’t have asked and pushed my buttons. He has ignored me all my childhood. He doesn’t get to play the dad.”
Despite the drama, the bride said her wedding “went smoothly” but her father and most of his side of the family did not show up. The bride wrote: “Overall it was fine. I cannot be more thankful to Lenny. Though it still hurts getting betrayed by my own dad but I am okay. My kids will know Lenny as their grandfather.”
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