Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
We all learn a lot from the decisions we make and the opportunities we do – and don’t – take.
So, if you had the chance to redo your 20s, perhaps you’d impart some knowledge on your fresh-faced self.
We asked people to share the genuinely helpful life advice they would give to their younger selves – especially off the back of new research which found the decade is the most stressful period of our lives.
From travelling more to squashing people-pleasing traits, here’s what they had to say…
‘Worry less about fitting in’ – Laura Perkes, 49
If I could give my younger self any advice, it would be to spend less time worrying about fitting in – embrace your differences, as those quirks will be what sets you apart from everyone else and will magnetise the right people to you.
Saying ‘no’ isn’t a weakness. Don’t be afraid that you’ll be left out, because later in life you’ll be grateful for having strong boundaries. The life of a people pleaser is tough so always put your own wants and needs first.
‘Step outside your comfort zone’ – Wing Tsang
Don’t be afraid of taking risks. Your 20s is a time to explore and take risks – whether it’s trying a new hobby or pursuing a new career path. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and take on new challenges.
‘Take a gap year’ – Julia Hammond
Take a gap year. It’s probably my biggest regret that I didn’t.
‘Don’t rush’ – Lois Pia, 29
Also, don’t rush. In my 20s I have tried to get way ahead of myself in my professional career, and unfortunately missed out on so many fun moments and friendships. As I turn 30, I am doing life a little bit backwards and ensuring that I do all the fun things I missed out on during my 20s.
‘Trial and error is OK’ – George Read
Follow your dreams. Truly discover what you love. Trial and error is okay. And don’t listen to your parents for career advice.
‘Live for now’ – Katie Blake, 37
Live in the moment – don’t keep wanting the next thing, the next promotion and putting your happiness in the future. You never know what life is going to throw at you (my mum passed away when I was 27).
‘Friendships come and go’ – Catherine Fieldhouse, 39
You will make lots of friends in your life, some will come and go, some will stay. Enjoy each friendship and accept when they come to a natural end.
‘Life is long’ – Maxine Gordon
If you get on the wrong path… don’t stress. There’s plenty time to find the right one/ones. Life is long, we learn from our mistakes.
‘Don’t bend over backwards to please others’ – Lucy Jeffrey, 29
It would be to do what is right for me rather than bend over backwards to please others.
There is a time and a place to ‘suck it up and do what is asked for you’ but I spent a couple of years commuting from London to Birmingham for work because of office politics.
I wish I’d fought harder to work from home, protect my mental health or just quit all together.
It took a global pandemic to make me see that.
‘Take more photos’ – Julia Portelly, 30
To capture more memories – take more pictures and don’t give a toss when people laugh at you for photographing meals/pets/sunsets for Insta. The memories that pop up on my phone bring me so much joy.
‘Prioritise your mental health’ – Sue Omar, 32
I would tell myself to breathe, pause, take in every moment and worry less about what’s to come. I would worry less about how I look and what others think of me and lean in more to becoming my most authentic self. I would spend less time overthinking things that didn’t go my way and focus on the good.
Finally, I would prioritise my mental health before anything and practice self-care as much as possible to avoid burnout.
‘Know you’re enough’ – Sarah Fletcher, 48
Firstly, I’d say ‘she’s enough’ – so many of my inner conflicts occurred from feelings of not being good enough. I’d tell her to show herself kindness and compassion and to deeply know that she’s enough. The stories she tells herself aren’t true, they are just stories that are there to protect her and she doesn’t have to believe them.
I would also tell her to to enjoy the moment and stop worrying about things that don’t matter. The house doesn’t need to be spotless, the clothes don’t need to be ironed and you can make your own rules up about how you live your life. You don’t have to live up to other peoples’ expectations or be scared of disappointing people. Be true to yourself.
‘Cut yourself off from people who stunt your existence’ – Jay Kamiraz (also known as Mr Fabulous), 44
Remember not everyone around you will want the best for you. It’s OK to cut yourself off from people who stunt your existence. You will thank yourself later in life.
Some people we think are good for us will be the very people I call ‘trauma dumpers’ or ‘green-eyed monsters’, who will latch onto you and arm themselves with envy and malice, play on your good nature, sabotage and hinder your growth, holding you back in order to make themselves feel better.
Remember they are not bad people, they are just not equipped enough to reach the altitudes you are going to and beyond. Like boosters on a rocket ship they will fall off when they reach a certain height on your flight to a successful life filled with favour.
‘You can do better’ – Laura Cooney, 35
Don’t settle for the first thing that comes along because you don’t think you can do better – because you absolutely can.
‘Experience the world’ – Duncan Greenfield-Turk, 43
Travel more, experience the world and just go. Discover more cultures, more cities and more people.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
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