Dear Alison,
My friends are getting married in the next couple of weeks and they’ve set up a cash registry. I’m happy to give them money – as I know they’re going to use it on their honeymoon – but I don’t know how much to give.
How much would you suggest I contribute?
Thanks,
Steve
Dear Steve,
Thank you for contacting me with your question. When it comes to gifting cash, there are several things to mull over – especially as payments can range between £20 to over £1000!
Firstly you need to ensure that you do not compromise your financial situation, so do reflect on what you feel is a comfortable amount to contribute.
It is essential to give something within your means and not put yourself under financial pressure. For the sake of this piece, let’s say you can afford to give the couple £300 (which would be a very generous gift).
Rather than just committing to this sum, you should also consider the other expenses. For example, there may be accommodation, transport and drinks costs. These can mount up and leave you with an expensive month before your next payday.
Brits, on average, are spending £604 to attend a wedding – so it’s certainly not an outgoing that you should overlook.
Assuming you’ve factored that in, and in your case the expenses tot up to £200, you may feel comfortable giving your friends £100 towards their honeymoon fund.
But there are some other details that could do with contemplating. How close to the couple are you? If they are your best friends, you may feel £100 is appropriate; if they are acquaintances from work, it may feel more reflective of your relationship to reduce that number to £20 or £30.
I know you probably don’t want to disappoint the couple, but perhaps the solution lies in finding out what kind of honeymoon they want?
It may be an expensive, lavish honeymoon, a smaller, less extravagant adventure, or a mini-moon in a remote location. It’s worth knowing if they have something booked and specific interests they might be keen on undertaking.
If you can figure out their honeymoon budget, you could contribute something similar to their expectations.
You could look up their destination and tailor your budget around the cost of a dinner for two there. A meal in an Italian tourist destination is likely to be more expensive than in Thailand, for example.
Something else to take into account is the actual wedding. Is it a large celebration with all the frills, or a smaller, less glamorous affair? Are you invited as a day guest or an evening-only guest? If the latter, you can keep your contribution smaller.
There is one thing that mustn’t be overlooked, and that’s customs. In certain cultures there may be an expected amount and different communities may have varying expectations when it comes from monetary contributions.
It would help if you asked for advice from friends or family members familiar with these customs in this instance.
But on the whole, if you have struggled with the cost-of-living crisis recently, or have already contributed to other wedding-related expenses, it is acceptable to adjust your gift accordingly.
In this hypothetical situation, you may have started with £300, but depending on different circumstances, you may end up giving the whole amount or £20 – and that is fine!
The most crucial factor is not how much you gift but what you feel comfortable giving and being there to support your friends on their special day.
Find out more about Alison here: alisonriosmccrone.com; and find details of her wedding venue here: altskeith.com.
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a wedding venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
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