How I Do It: ‘From cuckolding to swinging, I help clients navigate non-monogamy

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week, we hear from ethical non-monogamy and swinging coach Rosie Kay, who runs a website called This Kinda Girl (TKG). Rosie, 35, helps clients navigate relationships under the polyamorous umbrella.

Based in Sheffield, she is bisexual and dating someone who’s supportive of her ‘involvement in the lifestyle.’

When asked what makes her happy about her sex life, Rosie says: ‘I’m able to express and explore both sides of my sexuality.

‘I feel grateful to be living in a society that allows me to do this.’

This week, she visits a swingers club and chats with everyone from iffy potential clients to a unicorn she’s hoping to get to know a bit better…

Monday

My week starts with planning my content, making final arrangements for events I’m attending, and following up on new client inquiries. This week, I’m creating content centered around hard limits for swingers and why some swingers don’t kiss others (yes, really).

I’m attending an event at the end of the week, so I plan some social media content to share with my followers and tell TKG club members they can look forward to some behind-the-scenes content.

Then, at 2pm I have a call with a couple wanting to get involved in the lifestyle, but to my surprise, the wife is AWOL.

I raise my doubts, and the guy argues with me: ‘But she says she doesn’t mind me going to swinging clubs.’

‘Sir,’ I reply, ‘unless I speak to your wife, I can’t work with you as it’s not how I operate.’ He ends the call.

After working on my content, I decide to look at some non-monogamous dating sites. Bingo! There’s a unicorn about 20 miles away who ticks my boxes! We start chatting, and she asks if I’m free later in the week.

For you, yes, yes, I am…

Tuesday

Today, I have another client call with a couple who want to explore ethical non-monogamy and kink, and are curious about incorporating cuckolding into their relationship as a form of ENM (ethical non-monogamy). I share my experiences of cuckolding, and I point them in the direction of MyFet, where they can learn from content creators and educators who specialise in this type of thing.

The client’s session lasts 90 minutes and includes a full write-up for them of everything we covered. Afterward, I’m feeling drained. I find it hard to use my creative brain directly after a consultation, so I turn off my computer, head upstairs, and I call my fella.

‘What time are you finished work?’ I ask. He tells me he’s leaving in about 30 minutes. ‘Come straight over; I need to unwind,’ I reply.

Thirty minutes later, I heard him pull up outside my house. He opens the front door, and as he steps into the hall I kiss him. After we’re done, I tell him about the girl I was chatting to the previous night.

‘You going to meet up with her?’ he asks. ‘Potentially’

He raises his eyebrows. ‘Sex on the first date with her?’ he enquires. I just smile at him.

Wednesday

I am mega busy as I have a session booked at the gym and a write-up to complete for another client: a single male who wanted my guidance on creating a profile for a swingers dating site.

Sometimes I feel quite anxious about finishing work for clients, so I plan to do it as soon as I’m home from the gym. I also need to finish my piece on why swingers don’t always kiss, and the single girl from Monday has asked me to meet her for a drink in the evening.

By 7pm, I’m showered, wearing a summer dress, and making my way to the bar we have arranged to meet at. The date goes well; she’s fit and flirty, and we have quite a lot in common, but she is more interested in developing a polyamorous relationship than having swinger or open relationship sex.

Although it kills me (I really fancy her!) I tell her I don’t want to waste her time.

When I get home, I call my fella. So, how did it go?’ he asks. ‘Meh.’

Thursday

On Thursdays, Ihost workshops in TKG Club for my coaching community. These are virtual, and all members of the club can join me live, or watch the recorded video later in the community area.

This week I’m hosting a workshop on what it’s like seeing your partner with someone else, where I share with them how I went from being absolutely terrified of seeing my previous partner with someone else, to later being in a dom/sub dynamic relationship where I wanted to see my partner having sex with others – or shall I say, being used by others!

I also share advice on jealousy and how to deal with it when swinging, as it’s a huge topic and one that I always receive questions on.

Friday

Woohoo! A parcel has arrived addressed ‘To Thiskindagirl limited’, which means a sex toy that I have been asked to review is here.

I call my fella and tell him we have some product testing to do later that night. I receive an email in the afternoon from the couple who came to me for advice on cuckolding, saying that they have made progress in exploring their fantasies.

They’re now wanting to visit a club where they can put what they have seen into action. I recommend a few UK-based clubs that have great BDSM facilities for them to use.

At 8pm, there’s a knock at the door. It’s my boyfriend, and he’s got a big grin on his face.

‘I love what you do for a living’, he smiles.

The toy in question is a silicone-sucking vibrator, and I want to see if it could be useful in a swinging situation. The ‘testing’ itself consists of getting in different positions whilst using it and also flicking through the functions to see how user-friendly it is.

Afterward, I also see how easy to clean the toy is – very is the answer. Great orgasms, all had in the name of research.

Saturday

Today, I am attending a launch party for a brand-new swingers dating app, which is, of course, being held in a swingers club. The club in question is one that I have visited numerous times, and I’m excited to be catching up with fellow content creators, saying hello to my fans and followers, and mixing and mingling with my people.

I’m staying at a hotel close by, and whilst I’m getting ready, I spark interest on social media by letting my followers decide what outfit I should wear to the club. They vote for the LBD.

The party is very busy, and it’s great to see so many friends, and also put some names to faces. The party host is keen to chat with me, as is the dating app owner whom I’ve been working with for a while. Several other content creators approach me and ask my thoughts on the app and the party, and before I know it, I’ve been there for two hours.

I get several invitations. However, I’m slightly reluctant to play, as I feel under pressure to perform. I see a couple I have been introduced to previously and make my way over to them to get reacquainted.

After chatting with them for a short while, we decide to go to a private playroom. The lady pulls a bullet vibrator from her bag, and I use it on her while they have sex. I enjoy watching her orgasm.

Afterward, I kiss her and leave them to it. I return to my hotel, run myself a bath and start to mentally unpack the night’s events.

Sunday

I have to catch the 11.40am train back to Sheffield, and I decide to skip the rather bland-looking breakfast and head straight to the station. I’m early for my train, so I pull out my laptop and begin making notes on the previous night’s party.

This will later be made into content for TKG club members, where they read all about the people I met, my thoughts about the party, and what I got up to with the couple.

The train pulls in at around 2pm and I see my fella’s car waiting outside the station. On the way home, I tell him about the party, how intense I found it, and that I really want to get my hands on the vibrator I used on the lady.

He asks about networking opportunities, and I tell him about my conversation with the event organiser. Once back at his, we pick up where we left off on Friday.

Whilst laying in bed afterward, he picks up his phone.

‘What was the name of that toy?’ he asks.

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