Gwyneth Paltrow will soon reach her 50th birthday – but the lead-up has been deeply emotional for her, with the Goop entrepreneur crying, screaming, and contemplating whether she will live to see another day. Her father died in his fifties, during a historical trip the pair took to Rome to celebrate her 30th birthday – and the memory looms large in her mind.
Revealing that she has been repressing her angst, Gwyneth disclosed in a new post: “I feel like all my problems—at least until I was 45 years old—came from my not wanting to feel my feelings.
“Then I finally was like, ‘Who gives a f**k?’ Okay, I’ll cry, I’ll scream, and then I’ll still wake up, hopefully, the next morning.”
The star admitted that her father had been “anxious” during his own milestone 50th birthday – and eight years later, he died, due to complications from oral cancer and a bout of pneumonia.
“I wonder if he had some kind of sixth sense that he would die in his 50s; it seemed like he felt the finiteness of his life in that moment,” she mused.
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She made the admissions on her Goop website, as part of an article titled: “Is This What (Almost) 50 Looks Like?”
Gwyneth also revealed that, as well as questioning her own mortality, she has feared the ageing process and how it would impact her physically.
The star recently wore the shortest hemline she’d worn in a decade when she rediscovered a Chanel dress she had liked in her basement – and the actress is adamant that no-one should dictate a dress code based on someone’s age.
“[The dress] worked. People should wear what they feel good in,” she declared defiantly.
She is inspired by actress Jennifer Lopez, who she believes looks better now than she has ever done before.
Gwyneth added: “I love when you see women who have not touched their face at all, who are embracing every inch of their aging.
“And then there are those women you look at and wonder, How can they be 78? How are they pulling that off?”
She also mentioned feeling “inspired” by women who resort to face-lifts to continue achieving visual beauty in their later years.
Gwyneth is sharing her milestone birthday moment with fellow ex-actress pal Cameron Diaz, who is reaching the big 50 just one month before she does.
Admitting that she admires her friend’s attitude to ageing, she continued that she too is trying to remain in control of both her inner health and her appearance as she grows older.
“The older I get, the more drawn I am toward monitoring my health,” she added.
Though the Goop blogger is regularly mocked by the world for her wacky and eccentric wellness products, which include a vagina-scented candle and a vampire repellent spray, many want to join her journey, and her brand is valued at an impressive $250 million (£217.2 million), according to CEO magazine.
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