Grace Tame’s true intentions revealed

On her last day as Australian of the Year, it is tradition that the outgoing winner is invited to the Lodge and it is tradition that the recipient turns up and smiles for the cameras.

Grace Tame threw that tradition in the bin on Tuesday, rejecting all the societal rules we’ve come to expect about how good girls should behave.

Her body language was “cold”, “icy” and “unforgiving” according to journalists. It was “childish”, “rude”, “immature”, “partisan”, “divisive” and “political” according to critics.

“Hello Grace,” the Prime Minister was heard saying.

“G’day,” she responded.

“How are you going? Congratulations on the engagement,” Mr Morrison said.

“Thank you,” Ms Tame replies.

If you listen to the audio without the pictures it seems innocuous enough. A non-event.

But the pictures tell a different story. Tame’s facial expressions and her own body is a symphony of discuss. The Prime Minister awkwardly recognises he’s getting the cold shoulder and tries to smile a bit harder.

She shoots him a dirty look, briefly engages in eye contact with his wife Jenny and walks off as quickly as she can.

Project co-host Peter van Onselen, labelled the sexual assault survivor “immature” and “embarrassing, for her.”

“She was ungracious, rude and childish, refusing to smile for the cameras, barely acknowledging his existence when standing next to him,’’ he said.

“Just be a decent human being, that’s all. If that wasn’t possible, why bother to attend at all?”.

But what is it about Grace Tame refusing to play the game and smile for the cameras that makes us so uncomfortable?

It’s not as if there are not plenty of pictures of the Prime Minister turning his back on Tanya Plibersek and other Labor MPs in question time.

And who can forget the former banking royal commissioner Kenneth Hayne muttering “nope” when he was asked by the Treasurer Josh Frydenberg to smile for the cameras during a photo op.

Is it really that surprising, that after surviving childhood trauma that involved a powerful male leadership figure – a teacher – repeatedly raping her and telling her how to behave that Grace Tame might bristle at adhering to demands she display civility as an adult?

On Tuesday night, The Project co-host Carrie Bickmore engaged with this issue directly with her co-host van Onselen.

“In the article, you spoke about how she acted as a child,” Bickmore said.

“You know when she should’ve been able to act as a child? When she was a child. Only she was preyed upon by a man and lost part of her childhood.”

Of course, it is true that childhood trauma should not be an endless excuse for bad behaviour as an adult.

Sometimes, it helps explain it. But what we saw on Tuesday from Grace Tame was not a mistake, it was a political protest designed to challenge our thinking.

Author Amy Remeikis, whose new book, On Reckoning, is out this week, had this to say to Tame’s critics.

“You attempted to police a woman who lost all agency as a child where she was groomed and told how to behave,’’ she said.

“And she has since come out and made her entire adulthood about not behaving in the way that other people think that she should that she’s going to be true to herself.

“And if she doesn’t want to be part of a politically staged photo op, she doesn’t have to smile to make other people feel better and not hurt their feelings.”

Sharna Bremner, the founder and director of End Rape on Campus Australia said that Tame’s actions teach us something about activism.

“I’ve worked with countless survivors. Our organisation has partnered with many other advocates, advocacy groups and support organisations. We’ve worked publicly with some, behind the scenes with others,’’ Bremner said.

“I’ve learned a lot in the past 10 years. More than I ever though I could learn, some that I didn’t want to learn and some things I didn’t think I’d ever say out loud, including this: One of the biggest hurdles to truly addressing sexual and gendered violence in Australia is ‘advocates’ who gratefully lap up the crumbs thrown at us by governments.

“These are, by and large, middle class white women who will do whatever it takes to get or maintain a seat at the government table. They won’t push back, won’t rock the boat, won’t say what needs to be said or do what needs to be done, for fear of being left out.

“Grace Tame did what a good advocate should do. She didn’t play their game. She didn’t throw survivors under the bus to get or keep a seat at the table. She stood with survivors, not in her own self-interest.

“Because the change that we need won’t come from maintaining the status quo.”

In other words, it’s not Grace Tame’s job as a child sex abuse survivor to smile and make us feel comfortable.

Originally published as Grace Tame’s true intentions with Scott Morrison revealed