Female Bond would be an insult to women

I should add, for the record, that I would still happily go and watch a Bond movie with a female 007. But it’s wrong, for several reasons.

I’ll get to the endless sexism and objectification stuff later, because that’s not my main problem with such a move. Although you could argue that any series with a character called Pussy Galore is perhaps beyond feminist redemption.

But anyway, my point is this: A female Bond is a slap in the face for every scriptwriter and director. It says none of them can come up with a female spy who is as powerful a character as Bond but without all his accompanying baggage.

I’ve written before about Atomic Blonde, the 2017 Charlize Theron movie that sees her as an MI6 spy — just like Bond — battling dodgy allies and multiple betrayals in 1989 Berlin.

The fight scenes, which were choreographed by the team behind Keanu Reeves’s John Wick movies, were unbelievable.

Theron takes on — and then takes down — a building full of baddies in scenes that are just incredible. Now we have word that two sequels are in the works at Netflix.

Then, last month, came Kate, a Netflix film starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

The fight scenes are just insane and she’s an incredible shot — like Bond — as well.

When she takes on a tea room full of Yakuza, each crash through the traditional paper walls revealing more baddies … stunning.

I would back either Kate or Lorraine (Theron’s character) to take down any Bond before Daniel Craig and I’d give Craig’s Bond no more than a 50-50 chance against either of them.

I’d also include the 2011 film Hanna, starring Saoirse Ronan and our own Cate Blanchett and Eric Bana — you can watch that on Binge — in the mix.

She’s probably a little young to be the focus of a franchise aimed at an adult audience but she can certainly hold her own as well.

Now, there were plot issues with all three of those films. But they proved beyond doubt a female spy can do everything Bond can.

So why be lazy and appropriate a male character?

As I said earlier, Bond has more baggage than a family of bogans returning from Bali after visiting a half-price Bintang singlet sale.

The way the series treated women, particularly in the 1960s and 1970s, is uncomfortable to watch now.

A female 007 would always incite comparisons with the male versions and the effect of the change would be overshadowed by protests from trolls who still think that Plenty O’Toole is a hilarious name. So why go there?

I would love to see Kate done properly, with a little more work on the script.

I would also love to see Lorraine from Atomic Blonde brought into the 21st century and given proper backing.

I know a female spy can leave me shaken and stirred. But I don’t think that would happen if it was a female 007.