Feeling worked up? How to use sex as an effective stress reliever

From work to family to relationships, stress now comes in many forms.

As we know, stress can be harmful not only to our minds, but our bodies too.

In the long-term, too much of it can increase the risk of hypertension, heart attack or stroke.

Thankfully, there are many ways to alleviate stress. Meditation, yoga and walks in the countryside are all effective stress relievers.

However, did you know that there is another activity you can engage in that can decrease your tension levels considerably?

Any guesses?

Well, it’s sex.

Yes, sex is one of life’s best relaxants.

‘During pleasure, sex, and orgasm, your body releases feel good hormones and endorphins which promote feelings of relaxation and calm,’ explains Kate Moyle, LELO’s sex and relationship expert.

‘Oxytocin, which is released through physical touch, hugging, kissing and eye-contact as well as sex, can reduce cortisol levels, which is our major stress hormone. It’s not just your erogenous zones that crave sex to relieve stress – it’s your brain too.’

And as April is National Stress Awareness Month, Kate is sharing her top tips on how to use sex and pleasure as a stress relief technique.

Focus inwards during the act

Focusing on the external world, with its external pressures, will inevitably increase stress, Kate says.

She explains: ‘It’s time to look inwards and sex or self-pleasure can give people a chance to focus and be in the moment. This can eventually help someone figure out what is going on and what is causing the stress.

‘Sometimes, people can find sex stressful. So, if this is the case, seek advice, professional help or communicate to your partner about how you are feeling and work from there.’

Catch some sleep

Kate says that having sex right before bed is a clever way to get some much-needed sleep – as timing sexual pleasure before you hit the pillow can ease levels of unwanted pressure.

‘The neurochemical boost that we can get from sex, self-touch and orgasm can promote good sleep,’ Kate adds.

‘This is because prolactin and oxytocin contribute to feeling sleepy and create a sense of calm.

‘Stress and poor sleep can have a direct relationship, with lack of sleep making stress worse, and stress contributing to disrupted sleep. Sex, self-pleasure and orgasm can act as a buffer to this. A top tip if you are doing it alone is to use a silent vibrator. This can enhance a before-bed solo session, especially if you live with others.’

Treat yourself

If you are currently struggling with stress, chances are you will be trying to implement a self-care routine.

Very often, this includes face masks and baths, but Kate says sex should be an important part of that routine.

Just like reading a book can be seen as self-care, we need to look at pleasure like that too.

‘Quite simply, pleasure feels good,’ Kate notes. ‘This can be a real gift-to-self, whether we are in a relationship or single. Exploring pleasure and what feels good for us can be an important part of building a positive relationship with ourselves, and can be something that we incorporate into our self-care routine.

‘Different routes to pleasure can also help us to mix up our sexual routines and give us a dopamine boost from trying something new – whether it’s trying a sex toy, lubricant, new style of touch or new location.

‘The senses are the gateway to everything people do, and so using them to build on experiences and get into a sexual mindset can be a really useful prompt for someone who struggles to switch off. This will also help to relieve tension and worry.’

Come together

If you are in a relationship, truly connecting with your partner is a successful way to decrease feelings of stress.

‘If we are in a relationship, sex with a partner can help us to feel connected and close, which can make us feel desired, wanted and seen,’ Kate explains.

‘As humans, flirting, hugging, eye-contact and kissing can make us feel appreciated and valued. These acts can also contribute to our sex lives in a positive way by providing opportunities for responsive desire to be triggered or emerge.

‘And love, when good and healthy, is calming, especially when pleasure is involved. So, take the opportunity to indulge in the sense of calm that comes with that.’

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