‘Mu-um, why can’t I eat in front of the TV?’
My daughter had just returned from a playdate at a friend’s house and had sat down for dinner with their family in front of the box.
She told me it was fun and couldn’t work out why I insisted that we eat at the dining table.
I was reminded of that incident this week when it was reported that Simon Cowell had said that he and his fiancée Lauren Silverman have one disagreement – about whether to eat at the dining table or on the sofa.
The talent judge said that he and his son Eric prefer to eat on the sofa watching TV, while Lauren prefers eating ‘more formally’ at the table.
But on this one, Mr Cowell, I agree with your wife-to-be.
While I was growing up in the 80s and 90s eating dinner ‘on laps’ in front of the TV was the standard arrangement.
No one spoke – the family simply ate away while the evening news blared away in front of us.
Landmark speeches by Margaret Thatcher took place as I shovelled in mashed potato.
I watched in horror as the Gulf War began in 1990 while eating a pork chop from a tray.
Even my memories of never-ending sales on sofas revolve around me eating pudding.
To be fair, it was more of a new trend back then. Microwave meals and quicker food preparation meant busy families could grab dinner on trays and eat faster.
But sometimes I’d have the luxury of going to friends’ houses where they ate at the dining table – no TVs and no distractions.
I was amazed to see how much conversation flowed as a result.
Parents actually spoke to their kids and vice versa.
Even at a young age, I vowed that when I had my own family we would never be ‘sofa diners’ – we’d eat around a table.
Now, I have my own children – a son aged 13 and a daughter aged eight – and we all do just that every single evening.
Mobile phones are banned, and, crucially, there is no TV allowed.
We simply eat and talk.
My children are like plenty others – they’re glued to their phones 90% of the time.
So we make sure that dinner is the one precious time of day where they actually look up from their screens and even make eye contact with my husband and I.
This way, dinner is not just a time for eating, it’s a time for learning about their day – what was funny, what went wrong, what they achieved.
That wouldn’t happen if we were sitting on a sofa staring ahead at the TV.
There’s lots of benefits, and that’s before we even get to the thorny issue of hygiene!
I remember from my sofa-munching days that despite your best intentions, food would often end up anywhere but your mouth. Crumbs fall on your lap and fall
down the sides of the sofa.
I’d imagine Simon Cowell has an army of housekeeping staff to keep on top of this, but I can certainly see where Lauren is coming from – the dinner table is a special place.
Studies have shown that children who eat around a dinner table have better academic performance, and a lower risk of suffering from depression and other mental health issues.
One study even showed sharing meals with family could reduce obesity and – amazingly – teenage pregnancy.
Other research reports that you’re more likely to focus on your food, enjoy it and even feel fuller when eating with no other distractions.
In short, eating around a table is good for us all.
You don’t have to have a dining table either. Just eating together, even if it’s cross legged around a coffee table on some cushions with the TV off and no phones is STILL better than not doing it.
When I first refused my daughter’s request to emulate her friend’s family and eat in front of the TV, she was annoyed.
Yet, later when we all sat around the table for our meal, she looked up at me sheepishly.
‘It is better like this,’ she conceded. ‘We actually talk to each other.’
And to me, that’s the most important point of round-the-table dining compared to sofa-eating.
When you’re eating while watching a film or the news or a TV show, you’re not conversing. You’re just mindlessly chewing, staring straight ahead.
Around a table, you have to talk, and I simply wouldn’t hear about the thoughts and concerns of my husband and children if we were all munching away while watching a game show.
I admire Simon Cowell. He’s a hugely successful man who’s brought joy and entertainment to millions with his shows.
But on this one, as he might say, it’s a no from me.
Stop eating on the sofa, Simon and listen to your fiancée, you’ll reap the benefits and so will your son.
The dining table is more than just a place to eat.
It’s sacred.
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