DS 9 is refreshingly different and like a Peugeot 508 rolled in glitter

THE right car key can get you a lot further on a first date than a splash of Brut.

More than that, it is your business card. It is your bragging rights with mates down the pub.

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Del Boy famously put his Reliant Regal keys on a Mercedes-Benz key ring because he knew if he whacked that down on the bar (along with his Filofax — remember them?) it made him look like he was successful.

Perception is everything.

Porsche does it right. Tesla does it right. 

Aston Martin used to have a nice crystal-topped wedge you slotted into the dash.

I don’t know about you but I expect a lot from a car nudging £50,000 — and that includes a decent key to slap down on the table. Which is why I’m disappointed with the Kinder Egg key that comes with a DS 9.

It’s exactly the same as the key for a £17k Corsa.

And so is the gear selector, for that matter.

Sacre bleu!

DS trades on being the fancy French alternative to Germany’s big three but it has missed a trick here. It’s not expensive to give us something nice and solid and individual, especially when you see the materials it is using to make the rest of the car look and feel boutique.

Get rid of the B.R.M. rotating clock that does a little dance when the car wakes up and give us a bespoke key instead. We know what time it is. We’ve got Apple CarPlay.

I have no complaints with the rest of this car . . . apart from the chunky price tag.

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It’s a plug-in hybrid, which means it’s a good company car because of the benefit-in-kind. But also, it’s a good car.

DS 9 is basically a Peugeot 508 rolled in glitter. And we liked 508. Except for the stupidly small steering wheel.

DS 9 has a proper-sized steering wheel. And properly comfortable seats. And a really low driving position. And a slick 12in HD screen. And a sublime sound system. And big, carpeted door pockets. It’s a lovely place to be.

And it goes well too. The petrol-electric combo returned 56mpg over 500 miles and it feels hovercraft-smooth on the motorway.

On twisty A-roads, it handles nicely and carries speed well.

Around Sheffield, we drove 17 miles on battery power alone.

Also, it sits on small-ish wheels, so the ride isn’t crashy.

Tinder date

Unless your neighbour is a French diplomat, you’re unlikely to see a DS 9. Which is why a lot of people looked at this car, mostly with confusion.

But for those who know, the orange running lights high up on the rear pillars are a nod to the original DS.

And the front lights are a technical masterpiece. There are three modules within each headlight that rotate and sparkle like a disco ball when you unlock/lock the car.

But they are also clever, automatically adjusting the beam to different conditions to give you the best view of the road ahead.

The French have got form. You only need to watch the latest Grand Tour episode to know they have always tried to be a bit different . . . although it hasn’t always worked.

This time it has. We like the DS 9. It is left-field. It is refreshingly different.

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It just needs a decent key to impress your Tinder date, or they won’t go anywhere near it.

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KEY FACTS: DS 9

• Price: £46,100
• Engine: 1.6-litre petrol plug-in hybrid
• Power: 225hp, 360Nm
• 0-62mph: 8.3 secs
• Top speed: 149mph
• Economy: 56mpg
• EV range: 34 miles
• CO2: 33g/km
• Out: Now