Sometimes you know within 10 minutes that a first date is not going to lead to a second. So, wouldn’t it be great to just walk away, guilt-free?
Well, if you try micro-dating, you could do just that.
You may have heard of micro-dating as a concept for those in established relationships.
Usually, a micro-date involves spending as little as 10-minutes reconnecting with your partner, without phones or other distractions.
Earlier this month, the Gottman Institute – an organisation which researches relationship dynamics – said spending quick bursts of uninterrupted time with a partner could help hit the relationship reset.
And the idea has got us thinking: could this be a way for single people to date, too?
Beth Goss, a certified educator from Gottman, the organisation which looked into micro-dates, confirmed newer couples or daters can indeed hop on the micro-dating trend.
That might look like asking a new suitor to join you for a (very) quick walk or a coffee. Alternatively, it might be learning a new skill together.
Sure, it might sound like a regular date, but the point is there’s no obligation to turn it into a longer activity – as long as you both know what you’re signing up for.
And it may be time efficient for those people with busy lives. After all, research suggests we decide if we fancy someone within three seconds.
A micro-date should be at least 10 minutes long, according to the Gottman definition, but can then be as long as the participants want.
How to have a productive micro-date
Psychotherapist and relationships author Lucy Beresford tells Metro.co.uk the secret to a successful speed date is treating the whole thing as an adventure, so you take the pressure off in advance.
‘Greet the other person with a smile. A smile is the quickest way to make a positive impression,’ she says.
‘Have a variety of questions, some deep, some flirty, so curious, so you get some information but you also showcase different sides of you.’
Examples Lucy recommends include:
a) Who would be your top three dinner party guests from history?
b) What’s your guilty pleasure?
c) What did you dream of being as a child?
‘Listen to the replies and conversation, so that you can pick up cues from the other person and respond,’ she says. ‘This will make the other person feel heard, which is very seductive.’
The real key to micro-dating is making sure you’re both on the same page – after all, someone might not want to get all dressed up and travel across the city only to find out it’s a 10-minute conversation.
If done right, micro-dating is just like organised speed-dating, but in a new setting without the obligatory hop from table to table.
Don’t forget though, if you’re a singleton, there’s no reason to stick to just one person for a micro-date either.
You could plan a few different ones and make a day of it (it also means you won’t waste an outfit).
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