‘Canada is so beautiful, but I always feel I am inside a deep hole’: Afghan refugees start over in the shadow of the terror they left behind

They fled the Taliban in search of safety and peace, only to discover that leaving everything behind and starting over can also be a dark road to travel.

Golshan Mosleh, 43, was the head of plans and programs at the ministry of interior of Afghanistan before August 2021 when the Taliban took over her country.

With a graduate degree in administration, she was a leader in one of the most important ministries in Afghanistan’s security sector.

Now, as she navigates a new country and job market, she has the added pressure that her government financial assistance ended last month.

“With the rule of the Taliban over Afghanistan, the danger of death squeezes our necks, and by staying in Canada, the pressure of life squeezes our necks,” Mosleh said.

Language impediments, a new job market and culture, a housing shortage; all in the shadow of the terror they have left behind. What can be done to ease the transition to life in Canada for Afghan refugees?

“Typically, the transition period is the toughest for immigrants as they begin work or move to social assistance,” Marwan Ismail, executive director of Polycultural Immigrant and Community Services said.

Ismail believes the government should continuously review the income support allowance that newcomers receive, to reflect inflation. Secondly, providing more funding for services in small cities and rural communities across Canada, would allow immigrants, refugees and newcomers to move out of major cities, and settle in communities that are more affordable and provide more opportunities.

“The housing crisis, language barriers and access to health care are the main obstacles that affect immigrants, newcomers and refugees — and Canadians alike. All levels of government and stakeholders need to be aware of these issues and address them as best as possible,” Ismail said.

“After one year here we received a letter from the Canadian government that there will be no more financial support,” Mosleh said.

Mosleh also wonders why the government of Canada Job Bank has a designated link for Ukrainians but no such support for Afghans.

“Every time I get a negative answer from recruiters, my heart hurts and I feel hopeless.”

As she navigates her new reality, Mosleh is haunted by her experience fleeing Afghanistan and the fear that still lingers.

In August 2021 as Kabul fell to the Taliban, she fled to Mazar-e-Sharif, in northern Afghanistan, with her five-year-old son and husband.

She spent 45 days in hiding until she found an organization to facilitate her departure from the country, though she didn’t know where they would end up.

“In Mazar-e-Sharif, I had nightmares every night and remembered the terror of the first round of the Taliban regime in the 90s,” Mosleh said, speaking in Persian.

When they arrived at Mazar-e-Sharif airport a Taliban officer informed her that she was banned from leaving the country. Her husband realized that the officer just wanted money, so he gave him everything they had, in exchange for an exit stamp on their passport.

“Until the last moment I got on the plane, I was afraid.”

Though she is safe she hears news of the arrest, torture and killing of her former colleagues, especially women, a fate she believes she would have faced if she had stayed.

“The Taliban are savages and the language of the Taliban is only the language of guns … I was very afraid of what would happen if I stayed in Afghanistan.”

Like other Afghan refugees in Canada, life is not easy for Najla Rahel.

In Afghanistan Rahel, 38, was a prominent women’s rights activist and a lawyer. She fled the country after the Taliban takeover and is now living with her husband in Toronto. But her desire to get her doctorate in law is gone, and now she is learning English with the goal of further education in Canada.

Rahel is active in her new community in Toronto. She continues her lobbying and advocacy by participating in events to raise awareness of the plight of Afghan women under Taliban rule.

But while she no longer faces a threat from the Taliban, she worries about her future in Canada.

“The financial support from the Canadian government is insufficient every month … I am worried that next month I will face financial problems,” Rahel said to Star, speaking in Persian.

“I started from zero as I must first learn the language. I had PhD admission to an Iranian university, but now as a refugee financially, I cannot manage to pay my fee to continue it online. Plus, I can also not travel for continuation of my PhD because I do not have a travel document either.”

Rahel said she took LINC classes for one year, but her progress was slow and she worried how long it would take to be able to communicate on an academic level.

“I was just in level 4 for one year and still did not finish it, so I was worried about when I might get to level 6 or 7 or graduate from Grade 12 so I could continue my education,” she said.

Rahel said that she wanted to study at a college but she would need to go into debt to afford her tuition.

“I was thinking of having no job as a newcomer and how to pay the OSAP debt later on, which would be more than $60,000. Therefore, I decided to stick with this adult school … I am facing huge challenges being a refugee here.”

She said that with the return of the Taliban, she lost many things.

“I lost my job, where I defended almost 2,000 cases for women. I lost my dream of getting a PhD in a law program.”

“I feel that Afghan women now living in Canada are no different from those in Afghanistan, (they are) jobless. I can see that some women activists that were in leadership positions are now doing labour work because they are facing some financial problems and there is no opportunity for them to study.”

Rahel said that as a lawyer she’s eager to learn about Canadian laws and the judiciary system. But it’s hard to know where to start.

“After one and half years (in Canada), I was invited by the president of a women’s law association and was shocked because, for the first time here, I had gotten in touch with some lawyers. They were so good to me and motivated me a lot. Even these kinds of informative gatherings are essential and useful for knowledge sharing.”

“Canada is so beautiful, but I always feel I am inside a deep hole. I asked my husband if Canada is very deep in the earth … I think I am falling. So, my message is to feel and understand the feeling of refugees. If someone loses their home or their country, it’s so difficult.”

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