You can tell a lot by the way someone holds themselves.
Taking notice of someone’s posture, their eye contact and where they place their hands can all help you glean a little bit of context about how they’re feeling in the moment.
A person’s body language can also tell you how they feel in relation to you.
It’s essentially metadata about whether or not you’re going to get a second date.
According to body language expert Adrianne Carter, 53, there are some tell-tale signs that you’re giving someone the ick, including leaning away from you, folding their arms, creating a barrier and subtly scrunching up their nose.
The ick, according to psychologist Dr Becky Spelman, ‘applies to the sudden onset of the feeling that a person to whom one was previously attracted is suddenly unattractive to the point where physical contact seems revolting’.
‘Generally when someone is giving you the ick you will be scrunching up your nose slightly,’ Adrianne said.
‘When someone doesn’t like someone or has the ick, you will see that nose wrinkling of disgust.’
These expressions won’t be obvious, but there’ll be many of them, she added, so you’ll likely only catch them if you’re actively paying attention.
If a date isn’t interested, it’s likely that they’ll subconsciously make some space between the two of you, either by leaning back or placing some kind of barrier in front of themselves.
‘If you are on a date, they might move something in front of them or, I hate to say it, cross their arms,’ Adrianne said (although it’s important to remember that some people do just do this for comfort).
‘When we are interested in someone we lean in,’ she continued.
‘If someone doesn’t like you or doesn’t fancy you they are more likely to make more space between you and them.’
Adrianne’s top signs that someone isn’t interested in you:
- Leaning back
- Creating a barrier
- Scrunching their nose
On the flip side, openness, rather than someone seeming closed off, is a great signifier that they’re into you.
‘I have a simple rule of thumb,’ said Adrianne. ‘Open facial expression, open-minded, open body language, [means] they are interested.’
The key signs include holding eye contact, raising their eyebrows, rolling up their sleeves and, of course, getting close to you.
‘A really simple rule for dates is when someone is leaning in – getting closer to you – it’s probably going well,’ Adrianne said.
Then there’s the perfect amount of eye contact (around 60-70% apparently).
But it’s not just about holding eye contact.
Adrianne added: ‘If you want to know if someone likes you and they’re not giving you constant eye contact – watch for this.
‘A double eye flash is where someone looks away, looks again and looks again.
‘It is very revealing, it means the person is interested.’
There’s also an eyebrow flash, when someone quickly raises their eyebrows and smiles.
Finally, there’s peacocking, which is when someone brings attention to their appearance to show that they’re interested, like playing with their hair or rolling up their sleeves.
‘This is when people start messing with their hair, they are pouring attention to it,’ Adrianna said.
‘They are trying to grab your attention, if they are flicking or flickering with their hair it is a sign they want to look good for you and they want you to notice.
‘Some men roll their sleeves up – when he rolls his sleeves up, he wants you to see his forearms to show his strength.
‘If he rolls his sleeves up he is interested and ready for action. The same goes for women.’
Adrianne’s top signs that someone is interested in you:
- Leaning forward
- Eye contact
- An eyebrow flash
- A double look
- Rolling sleeves up
- Showing their neck
Obviously, all of this should be taken with a pinch of salt: a lack of eye contact might be more to do with shyness than a lack of interest, and someone rolling up their sleeves won’t always mean they’re ‘ready to go’.
But it’s always a good idea to pay attention to people’s body language, even if it’s not a romantic situation.
Being able to tell if someone is feeling uncomfortable or agitated will make you a more empathetic person, and likely a better communicator.
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