Ask Amy: Red flags fly over mismatched relationship

Dear Readers: Like you, I’m often curious about what happens to the advice I offer once it leaves my desk, and so I’ve asked readers to send in “updates” to let all of us know how my advice was received, if it was followed, and how things turned out.

The responses have flowed in, and I’m interested and often gratified to learn what impact this experience has had on readers.

This year I celebrate my 20th year of writing this column. Publishing these updates reminds me that we have been through a lot over these past decades. Some updates read like postcards from old friends, and I’m happy to share them.

(It’s important to understand that most of these updates offer a positive outcome. I assume this is because when things go well, people are more willing to share their experience.)

To refresh all of our memories, I’m running the original Q&A, followed by the update.

Dear Amy: I’m in my mid-20s. My boyfriend is in his late 20s.

We’ve been seeing each other for 10 months, and some things he does bother me.

He’s not very sensitive or romantic. I’ve told him multiple times that I want him to be more romantic, but he says it’s just not how he is.

He rarely initiates sex, because he says he likes when I do it, even though I say that it’s hard for me to feel sexy when he doesn’t show me first that he finds me sexy.

He is really big on spending weekends with his friends (they share hobbies that I don’t share). He’ll usually be gone all day with them. Sometimes he’ll also spend a weekend evening with friends and not invite me.

He’s big on “giving each other space.” We’ve gotten into fights because I’ve been upset that he is prioritizing his friends over me.