Ask Amy: Families should hold on to discharge papers

Dear Amy: My father died three weeks ago.

After his death, I talked with a close friend whose father died in 2007.

Our experiences inspired me to write to you, and I ask you to please publish this as an alert to all veterans and to their immediate families: Please keep your military discharge papers in a safe place, and be sure your family members know where these documents are located!

Our fathers were both veterans who were buried with full military honors, but they were almost denied that right due to bureaucratic issues.

In both cases, the funeral homes contacted the VA for our fathers’ discharge papers, only to be told that the VA had no record of their service. (Some years ago, a fire destroyed a VA building, which may explain why some records were lost.)

Without those papers, it was impossible to prove they had served, and without that proof, neither of our families could have had the honor guard at our father’s funerals. By superhuman effort, an employee of the office that stores some of my father’s documents found his discharge papers and got them to the funeral home just in time for the honor guard to be arranged.

My friend’s father had been active in a veteran’s organization whose members were able to arrange the honor guard on his behalf, but for both our families, it was a near miss and very stressful.

It’s never easy to discuss topics like these ahead of time, but if you or your closest family members were in the service, please get this straight before need arises. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what we did.

Thank you for the good work you do.

— Proud Daughter of a Veteran

Dear Proud Daughter: I’m very sorry for your loss, and I appreciate being able to publish this as a helpful public service to readers.