Ask Amy: A large family has divided loyalties

Dear Amy: I come from a large family, which has a 20-year gap between siblings.

The oldest sibling was out of the house when the youngest was born.

Essentially, our parents raised two separate families in different generations.

Both of our parents died years ago, and a rift became very apparent.

A few of the older siblings accused some of the younger ones of taking advantage of our parents, and attempted to turn the rest of the family against them. They even went so far as to try and convince long-distance relatives.

It did not work.

One sibling’s spouse appears to have a personal grudge against a younger member, and over the years, letters have been written, emails sent, and public comments made, all against the same younger family member.

This in-law puts on the persona of being a good, loving, and honest person, but most know better.

Now that we are all growing older, some of the siblings feel as if all should be forgiven. They want to reunite the family.

A few have stated that this will not happen, as they cannot forget the pain of the other siblings with false accusations that they’ve never apologized for.

The trust has been lost for a few, and doesn’t appear to be recoverable.