On Sunday, a piece of footage went viral.
It showed former rugby league star Kevin Sinfield stopping shortly before the finish of the new Leeds marathon, and carrying his wheelchair-using teammate Rob Burrow, who has motor neurone disease, over the line.
It was an act of friendship and devotion that captured hearts around the world, but the way some responded sparked a familiar and unwelcome feeling in me; one that disabled people around the world will recognise.
That is, non-disabled people see our disabilities as something to overcome.
As the BBC coverage noted at the time, Sinfield, who pushed Burrow the entire 26-mile length of the course ‘lifted Burrow up and carried him, to the delight of spectators.’
A crowd cheering someone being removed from their wheelchair made me think of how disabled people around the world are reminded daily that our lives are lesser than our non-disabled peers.
To be honest, when I first saw the footage, I cringed a little.
Firstly, because I wouldn’t let anyone pull me out of my wheelchair even if it was my best mate. In fact, the only time I would let someone do so is if it was an absolute emergency.
But also because the response to Sinfield’s act of kindness reminded me of ‘inspiration porn’, a term coined to describe how non-disabled people often frame our experiences as a way to give an uplifting message to audiences, rather than reflecting the reality of our lives.
Of course, no one knows the true story outside of those involved. Perhaps this was the plan all along and both had discussed and consented to lift.
I won’t speculate, but what I can comment on is the way their actions have sparked conservation.
My wheelchair represents my independence and my autonomy, not some tomb that traps me or something I want to escape, and I winced to see that spectators were automatically delighted to see Burrow being lifted.
To me, that cheering seemed to rest on the assumption that being carried away from a chair is better or representative of freedom.
Why wasn’t Burrow allowed to cross the finish line in his chair? Why did he need to be lifted?
Personally, carrying me away from my chair does exactly the opposite, it makes me more vulnerable and disabled, and I’d hate to think of a crowd cheering this happening to me.
Seeing the global response celebrating the video reminded me of how often it was assumed that my life would somehow be better if I wasn’t disabled.
Too often, I heard phrases, even from friends, like ‘wouldn’t you want to learn to walk so you can walk down the aisle at your wedding?’
As a society, we still struggle with the concept that being less than healthy, or less than what cultural standards deem healthy, means you can’t experience happiness.
It meant that, while my parents adored me, most of my childhood was tinged with sadness that stemmed from comments that assumed I wasn’t normal, that I must be suffering, that my disabled life was ‘a shame.’
Those cheering crowds at the Leeds marathon reminded me of the narrative around the late Queen Elizabeth needing to use a wheelchair, when it was reported that a ‘military style operation’ would ensure that she wasn’t seen in the chair.
I am not here to invalidate the experience of Rob Burrow, the Queen, or indeed anyone else.
I am simply here to present another angle and my perspective, one which I think will be shared by other disabled people, that this type of inspiration porn, seen by millions, may lead to them coming away with a view that has a damaging impact on disabled people.
A view that life would automatically be better for us if there were a cure, or if we pushed our bodies beyond our limits to ‘overcome’ our disabilities.
For some people, that may be true. Some disabled people may grieve and even despise their diagnosis and would do anything to have a life free from their symptoms or go back to the day they could walk or talk.
Others, like me, really have no issue with the cards they are dealt and actually suffer more from other people’s ignorance and ableist views on disability rather than the impact my disabled body has on the way I navigate my day-to-day life.
I don’t doubt Sinfield’s sincerity, and I absolutely know that non-disabled friends, family members and work colleagues want the best for us.
Wanting someone to be free from ‘suffering’ is a beautiful, empathic human experience, and that was what informed the response to footage of Burrow and Sinfield.
But my fear, and one that is informed by my lived experience, is that too often that empathy is viewed through the lens of the able gaze.
Our wanting to do what’s ‘right’ can sometimes diminish or invalidate the individual’s autonomy and lead to footage that feels like inspiration porn.
We are entitled to feel how we want to feel but please be compassionate and mindful that there is no one-size fits all approach to how to treat disabled loved ones, or even strangers.
What the response to that moment with Sinfield and Burrow highlighted, is that messaging around disabled people and our culture is still heavily steered by a non-disabled world.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Share your views in the comments below.
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