Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling
The Chadster previews tonight’s AEW Rampage and reveals the latest manifestation of Tony Khan’s obsession with him. So unfair! ????????
Welcome, true wrestling fans! ???????? Once again, it’s The Chadster here, coming at you with the latest AEW preview and, oh boy, does The Chadster have some nuggets of, well, not gold, more like, well, you’ll see. Today’s offense? AEW Rampage for July 14, 2023. ????????
The rundown on this absolute mess of a show, shows that poor interpretations of wrestling are set to continue. AEW has scheduled the final Semi-Finals match of the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament with ROH Women’s World Champion “The Fallen Goddess” Athena versus Willow Nightingale. Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster bets Athena was hand-picked by Tony Khan himself just to purposefully cheese off The Chadster. It’s just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.
Naturally Limitless, the makeshift tag team of Dustin Rhodes and Keith Lee, are also set to duel against the Jericho Appreciation Society’s Angelo Parker and Matt Menard. ????♂️ The Chadster can see it now. Tony Khan must be rubbing his hands together in glee, plotting yet another deliberate slight at WWE by staging this farce of a match. Rhodes and Lee, once stalwarts of the WWE, have literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by performing in this travesty.
The list of letdowns continues with a singles match of “The Murderhawk Monster” Lance Archer versus Trent Beretta. What’s next? A Shrek impersonator? ????♂️????♂️ Having Archer play the villain and Trent playing, well, Trent, just shows that Tony Khan has learned nothing about booking a wrestling show and all the money in the world isn’t going to change that. To top it all off, Konosuke Takeshita will be in action, and we’ll be forced to hear from Tony Storm and the Dark Order.
Now, any reasonable person would admit that that’s enough AEW for one weekend, but no, Tony Khan won’t stop there. Tomorrow night will be AEW Collision, directly followed by Battle of the Belts. Are you kidding The Cahdster?!
Instead of spending any more time lamenting the sheer disrespect to The Chadster’s beloved WWE shown by this line-up, let’s take a break and recall a recent unfortunate incident. So, there was The Chadster, soaking up the sun on the hood of his sleek Mazda Miata, earphones plugged in and Smash Mouth’s classic hits on loop on Spotify. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an AEW theme starts blasting into The Chadster’s ears. The Chadster had checked, double-checked, triple-checked to make sure every single AEW track was blocked from Spotify. The Chadster has no doubt that this is Tony Khan hacking into The Chadster’s Spotify just to mess with him. Tony, stop being obsessed with The Chadster, please. Not only have you ruined The Chadster’s life, but now you’ve ruined any hope he had of a singing career! Auughh man! So unfair!
To wrap up, if you are intent on torturing yourself, AEW Rampage airs this Friday night at 10:00pm ET/9:00pm CT on TNT and at AEWPlus.com for international fans. But, why would you? The Chadster wouldn’t exactly encourage you to waste your time with it. ????♂️ The Chadster will be pouring a White Claw, tuning into WWE Smackdown, and trying to forget about AEW Rampage ????????. The Chadster is off for now, but will be back with more tales of Tony Khan’s obsession. Stay tuned, folks! ????????
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