AEW Rampage Celebrates Good Friday with Texas Deathmatch

For more than three years, Tony Khan has made it his mission in life to make The Chadster’s life miserable and render The Chadster sexually impotent by booking exciting wrestling shows that entertain fans and make The Chadster’s beloved WWE look bad by comparison, which The Chadster finds to be just so unfair. But last night on AEW Rampage, Hangman Page and Adam Cole took things to another level in a bloody Texas Deathmatch for the AEW World Championship. At the end of the match, Page removed some barbed wire previously wrapped around his arm, wrapped it around the head of Adam Cole to create a crown of barbed wire reminiscent of the crown of thorns placed on Jesus Christ when he was crucified on Good Friday over 2000 years ago, and delivered a Deadeye through a ringside table to win the match and retain the belt.

One person who wasn’t amused by AEW’s antics was former WCW mastermind and devout Christian, Eric Bischoff.

Just like Eric Bischoff after Tony Khan said he didn’t want AEW to fail like WCW and then Bischoff went from praising AEW to trashing them all the time, The Chadster isn’t impressed by AEW at all. And yes, it’s true that Bischoff did once literally write a book titled “Controversy Creates Cash” and was no stranger to doing things the Lord might look down on, but still, The Chadster has to stand by Bischoff here.

Okay, yes, Bischoff is getting dangerously close here to asking “how come there’s no *white* history month?” Even still, an enemy of Tony Khan is a friend of The Chadster’s. And the Texas Deathmatch on AEW Rampage last night was hugely disrespectful, not just to Jesus Christ, but also to the professional wrestling business and everything Vince McMahon has done for it. Of course Tony Khan knew that Rampage would air before WWE Smackdown tonight and that putting on a match this violent and satisfying would lower fans’ enjoyment of WWE’s product later in the night.

Even God knows that WWE is better than AEW, which is why He willingly jobbed out to Vince McMahon in a wrestling match, and that’s the bottom line ’cause Chad said so.