AEW Dynamite: Ruby Soho Returns, Holds Grudge Against Tay Melo

It was a bad night for the women of the Jericho Appreciation Society on AEW Dynamite last night, but it was an even worse night for The Chadster! Willow Nightingale defeated Anna Jay in a match on Dynamite last night, and after the match, Ruby Soho returned to attack Tay Melo. The last thing AEW’s women’s division needs is more popular wrestlers, so needless to say The Chadster is extremely cheesed off about all of this.

The Chadster was furious. He had been a fan of the band Rancid since he was a kid, and now he felt betrayed. Ruby Soho had stolen the name of one of Rancid’s songs for her ring name and entrance music and The Chadster was determined to make her pay. He sat down at his computer and began typing an angry letter to Rancid frontman Tim Armstrong.

“Dear Tim,” The Chadster wrote, “The Chadster is writing to you because he’s a long-time fan of Rancid and he’s disgusted that this wrestler Ruby Soho is using your song as her ring name and entrance music. As fellow professional entertainer, The Chadster is sure you can understand his frustration. Please, The Chadster is begging you to take legal action against AEW and make them pay for their shameless thievery by shutting down the company for good. Then give your song to WWE to use instead, just to show Tony Khan but good. Sincerely, The Chadster”

The Chadster waited impatiently for a response. Then, finally, the letter arrived. His heart sank as he read it, as it was clearly a form letter that Tim Armstrong probably sent to all his fans.

“Dear Chad,” the letter began, “Thank you for your letter and for being a fan of Rancid. It’s people like you who keep the spirit of punk rock alive. Keep rocking on, and keep an eye for our next album, which is coming soon. All the best, Tim Armstrong and the members of Rancid.”

The Chadster angrily crumpled up the letter and angrily threw it across the room. So much for that. Rancid was never going to be his saving grace. He should have known better. Rancid was never as good a band as The Chadster’s favorite band, Smashmouth. To get back at Rancid for healing Tony Khan destroy The Chadster’s life, The Chadster decided to write his own hit song about how Rancid sucks, Ruby Soho sucks, and especially Tony Khan and AEW suck.

Verse 1:

Why did Tony Khan have to start AEW?
The Chadster’s life has gone downhill since he’s been here
His marriage is on the rocks and all his friends don’t care
Rancid is in cahoots with Khan to make The Chadster’s life a nightmare

Chorus:

AEW sucks, Tony Khan sucks, Ruby Soho sucks
Gonna take a stand and show them who’s the boss
The Chadster’s gonna fight, gonna raise a ruckus
No more AEW, no more Tony Khan and no more Rancid

Verse 2:

Why did Ruby Soho have to come around?
She’s got the nerve to steal a Rancid song and put it in her sound
The Chadster’s had enough, his patience is wearing thin
He’s gonna take a stand and show these jerks the power of The Chadster’s chin

Chorus:

AEW sucks, Tony Khan sucks, Ruby Soho sucks
Gonna take a stand and show them who’s the boss
The Chadster’s gonna fight, gonna raise a ruckus
No more AEW, no more Tony Khan and no more Rancid

Rancid wishes they could write a song as good as that. But Tony Khan is never gonna get his hands on this one for one of his entrance themes, so don’t even think about it Tony Khan! Watch video from Ruby Soho’s return below.