AEW Dynamite Preview: Spitting on WWE’s Money in the Bank Success

Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW’s War on WWE Continues! ???? The Chadster brings you a bias-free rundown of this week’s terrible AEW Dynamite line-up.????

Golly gee, folks! It’s time once again for The Chadster’s weekly wrestling report, where The Chadster suffers through yet another painful preview of AEW’s shenanigans, and wouldn’t you just know it? AEW Dynamite is on the agenda today. ???? Oh, the humanity! ????

Now, The Chadster’s got to keep his cool here because, quite frankly, this lineup for AEW Dynamite this week’s got The Chadster cheesed off more than that time Tony Khan put AEW stickers on all the equipment at The Chadster’s local Planet Fitness. ???? But that’s a story for another day, and The Chadster must proceed with his unbiased, objective take on this week’s show. ????

Just LOOK at this! ???? AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy & Darby Allin versus Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland? ???? Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster just can’t believe Tony Khan is putting these ragtag pairings together! Sure, that’s the whole point of a “blind” tournament, The Chadster’s guesses, but it’s still not the kind of wrestling The Chadster prefers. ???? It seems that they are literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back by combining tag team matches without considering the backstage politics and tag team chemistry that WWE finely cultivates. It’s just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Clearly, Tony Khan just doesn’t understand a single thing about the wrestling business. ????

And then, a one-on-one showdown between Kenny Omega and Wheeler Yuta? Seriously? ???? Just hearing those names gets The Chadster’s stomach churning. That reminds The Chadster. The Chadster had a dream the other night where Tony Khan ruled a dystopian world where every person wore an unflattering mask resembling that smug face of his. ???? Each person also carried a replica of the AEW Championship Belt, which made The Chadster’s stomach churn worse than the time The Chadster got food poisoning from unlabeled hot dogs at a WWE SummerSlam tailgate and had to watch the main event from the venue restroom. ????

In this dream, former WWE superstars, many of whom The Chadster truly admired, emerged from dark alleyways in Tony Khan’s city, their heads hung low as they knelt at the feet of a massive, grotesque Tony Khan statue. ???? That’s basically what Tony Khan must want from Kenny Omega and Wheeler Yuta. The sound of the lamenting crowd in the dream that echoed through the city streets was more annoying than the constant dinging sound The Chadster hears when Keighleyanne is texting with that guy Gary. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, clamoring for the comforting sight of a WWE belt and the reassuring tune of John Cena’s entry theme. ????

But, darn it, it just keeps on coming! ???? This week, we’ll also see MJF and Adam Cole tagging together to supposedly earn a shot at the AEW World Tag Team Championship. Then, on top of that, there’s Dr. Britt Baker taking on Ruby Soho in a match that shows AEW’s blatant disregard for schedules, as the match was supposed to take place last week. ????

In typical AEW fashion, we’ll also be subjected to hearing from none other than Chris Jericho. ???? The Chadster shudders at the mere thought of what Khan might have him say next. To round out the already flabbergasting lineup, Jon Moxley is set to speak on AEW Dynamite. The Chadster wonders how long it will take for Khan to have Moxley spouting more AEW propaganda. ????

In conclusion, you can catch this pandemonium when this week’s AEW Dynamite debuts tonight, live on TBS or AEWPlus.com at 8pm ET/7pm CT. The Chadster, however, wouldn’t exactly suggest you to, given the absolute circus Tony Khan is putting on. ????‍♂️ If you crave some genuine, professional wrestling, just let The Chadster guide your way to WWE programming. ????

Remember, folks. Nobody values objective reporting more than The Chadster. The Chadster’s Unbiased Pro-Wrestling Journalism Club is always open for applications. No AEW fanatics allowed, though! ???? ????

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!