Why can’t I sunbathe topless but blokes can?

It was last year’s Pride on Brighton beach, and it was sweltering. I was aching to go swimming in the sea – except, I’d forgotten my swimming costume.

For the first time ever, I decided that I’d join my friends in the waves topless. 

I was apprehensive at first – worried I’d get asked to cover up; told that I was acting ‘inappropriately’ around kids, or encouraging men I didn’t know to sexualise my body.

But all the blokes around me were topless, why couldn’t I be? 

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my dress over my head and hopped across the pebbles into the sea – bare boobs, M&S granny pants and all.

It was the most invigorating, freeing experience of my life. I even posed for a Polaroid topless – a permanent reminder of my confidence (as well as the great t*ts of my twenties), and it’s a memory I’ll cherish forever.

We’re discriminated against for wanting to free rolls of flesh that have no other purpose than to nurture babies

It’s one I wish I had plenty more of – except there is a gender equality issue around those with breasts going topless during warmer months, to sunbathe, swim or even just exist.

While men – of all ages, shapes and sizes – seem to lose their shirts whenever the slightest hint of warmth rolls around, both at home and in public, women have got to keep theirs firmly pulled down.

Though it’s not illegal for people with breasts to sunbathe topless in the UK, according to the Crown Prosecution Service, it must be done discreetly – in efforts to not cause ‘distress, alarm or outrage’. 

Police have even encouraged people to inform their neighbours if they want to sunbathe topless in their own back garden, too. Shockingly, they recommend doing it out of view, in order to avoid any trouble.

It’s classic. Women, once again, are apparently free to do as they wish in this country, as long as they do it within the lines of reason, public decency and in hiding – for fear of some Karen complaining. To live according to the boundaries and stereotypes of their sex.

Talk about double standards. 

We’re discriminated against for wanting to free rolls of flesh that have no other purpose than to nurture newborn babies (and test the limits of every button-down shirt we own), that the patriarchy have decided to sexualise for their own benefit.

In parts of Spain though, it’s a different story. 

As if it wasn’t enough already to love the country for its mid-afternoon siestas and paid menstrual leave, Catalonia – a region in northeastern Spain – has enshrined in law the freedom for breast owners to go topless.

The region’s government has given those with breasts the legal right to swim topless since 2020 – but several pools in the country have discriminated against women who exercised their right to do so. 

Some had even been turned away in the past for doing so, after complaints from the public.

As a result, its lawmakers have firmly reminded all public pools of their obligation to allow topless swimmers of any sex, stating that preventing people ‘excludes part of the population and violates the free choice of each person with regard to their body’.

Failure to abide by the law could cost $500,000 in hefty fines.

It’s a move that has been welcomed by Spanish feminist group, Mugrons Lliures (which translates to ‘Free Nipples’), with spokeswoman Mariona Trabal saying: ‘This is a gender equality issue: Men could [go topless] and women couldn’t.’

Sadly though, elsewhere in the country, singer Rocío Saiz’s concert during a Pride event was temporarily stopped by organisers in Murcia after she took her top off – with her being questioned by police afterwards.

This contrast in events shows there’s still much more to be done – across Spain, and the world. 

I for one would love to sunbathe, swim and exist topless. It feels good to be naked, it’s freeing. 

Except, I feel too nervous to even sunbathe in a bikini top on my own balcony – despite being on the top floor and covered from view. 

I’m worried I’m either going to be the object of a perverted voyeur’s wet dreams, or the subject of my neighbour’s complaint to the council – and that’s wrong.

Spending more time naked has been proven to increase self-esteem, body image and satisfaction – so I feel like this country needs to take a leaf out of Catalonia’s book and stop discriminating against those who want to get the girls out.

We’re so scared of boobs and nudity that we’ve started to demonise people for embracing it. 

Hindering those with breasts from going topless, in public and in private, while men aren’t told to put it away is the embodiment of gender discrimination. 

If we normalised, rather than sexualised, people with breasts going topless from a young age, my sex might actually be able to live in peace. Without fear, or harassment – and safe in the knowledge that lawmakers that are put in positions of power to protect us will punish those who objectify or discriminate against us.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll bring Mary-Kate and Ashley out of their boulder-holders and to the party.

I promise I won’t take someone’s eyes out with them either.