John Cena Eviscerates Austin Theory, Accepts WrestleMania Challenge

John Cena will face Austin Theory at WrestleMania, though it’s not clear what the point is when Cena has already so thoroughly buried Theory on the microphone. Last night on WWE Raw, Cena made his return to WWE. Before he could even say hello to the WWE Universe, however, Cena was interrupted by the United States Champion, who offered Cena the “gift” of facing Theory at WrestleMania.

Cena initially rejected the offer, saying that Theory lacked personality and heart. Cena called Theory a Cena wannabe and pointed out that the fans don’t buy into Theory’s character. Cena shrugged off Theory’s one comeback, that Cena has a bald spot, and pointed out that Theory is so boring WWE has to pipe in crowd noise for him. Cena then pointed out that even if he beats Cena at WrestleMania, the crowd still won’t like him. Eventually, Cena did accept because the Boston crowd urged him to. But Cena left a ruined and speechless man in the ring following his promo, so he’s basically done his job already.

On his way out, Cena took the time to introduce Cody Rhodes, who he hugged and put over at the top of the ramp, so at least one current WWE star ended up elevated from the whole exchange. Unfortunately for Austin Theory, it wasn’t him. Whether Theory can step up and turn things around for himself remains to be seen. It is likely Theory will be booked to win the match at WrestleMania. However, as Cena pointed out, even if he does, the fans may simply reject the result and Theory could end up worse off than when he started.

The whole thing harkened back to Cena’s days as the top star of WWE, where he crushed the dreams of every up-and-coming star hoping to rise to the top of the company. At the time, Cena’s dominance led to his own rejection by the crowd, but, like with Triple H before him, now that Cena’s active in-ring career is over, that’s all water under the bridge to the WWE Universe, who were just happy to see him and more than willing to gleefully participate in the assassination of Austin Theory. The worst part about it for Theory is that every criticism Cena leveled at him rang absolutely true.