Are you bored during Betwixtmas? Good – you should lean into it
It’s that strange time of year.
Christmas is done, but the New Year has yet to arrive. Days melt into each other like old snow.
Time becomes meaningless as we’re suspended in an enforced pause, and by now, it’s probably starting to get to you.
If you’re lucky enough to not be working between Christmas and New Year – the period of time commonly referred to as ‘Betwixtmas’ – there’s a good chance the boredom might be setting in.
I know it is for me. It’s the kind of listlessness that claws at your chest, making you feel penned in, like a trapped animal.
It reminds me of childhood summers, those restless days of an endless holiday.
It’s the kind of boredom that leeches your energy until you sag, deflated, into the couch – lethargic but not sleepy, sluggish but somehow agitated at the same time.
But it doesn’t have to feel like this – this frustrated pang of dissatisfaction.
Actually, I’ve found that it only feels truly unpleasant when you push back against it, if you resist. But – as I learned during the pandemic – if you lean into it, boredom can be a release, it can even be pleasurable.
This time of nothingness between Christmas and New Year is a blessing and should be relished as one – but to do that, you have to reframe how you think about being bored.
‘Only boring people get bored’ – was a phrase that was commonly heard growing up.
Like most children, I hated doing nothing, and this need to fill every second of my day endured into adulthood, mutating into something more urgent, wrapped up in the pressure to be constantly ‘busy’, and the fear of being perceived as lazy.
Empty days have always been a struggle for me. Thanks to a culture of toxic productivity – the incessant pressure to be always achieving – I find that I feel like a failure, or even a bad person, if I’m not manically ticking things off an endless to-do list.
I stopped fighting the boredom… and that’s when I started to feel its benefits
A day filled with nothing but Netflix and lounging around would fill me with anxiety and an inescapable feeling of inadequacy, or that I wasn’t doing enough.
It meant that for most of my adult life, boredom was a foreign concept. My work days were manic, my evenings were filled with social plans and sport, while weekends were weddings and trips, or chores and side-hustles.
I made sure there was no time to be bored. There was also no time to rest or reflect.
But then Covid hit.
Lockdown changed everything. Months of enforced nothingness, my calendar stripped bare, my to-do list forcibly ripped to shreds. I was at a complete loss.
In those first few strange weeks, the boredom nearly drove me mad.
It was just my partner and I in our one-bedroom flat, migrating endlessly between the dining table and the sofa, then back again.
But, eventually, something shifted. I got used to the quiet, I settled into having very little to do.
After a few weeks, I started to look forward to our quiet little rituals.
An aimless walk to nowhere to fill the time between the end of work and the start of the evening. Cooking with the radio on. The next episode of whichever box set we were on.
Maybe a game of Scrabble if we wanted to mix things up.
I stopped fighting the boredom… and that’s when I started to feel its benefits.
Neuroscientists have produced studies suggesting boredom is actually good for the health of your brain. It gives you a much-needed break from productivity that, in the long run can amp up your creativity, task engagement and ability to do your job well.
Boredom can also foster creativity. Other research shows that doing absolutely nothing, or engaging in mind-numbing tasks that don’t require much thought and are typically boring, can foster creative potential.
You may have experienced this yourself – this is why you have your best ideas in the shower or when you’re washing up.
I certainly found this. During lockdown, I wrote and published my first book.
I don’t think I would have been able to achieve this if the normal demands of life and social plans had still been happening. And the empty days definitely gave my brain the space to be able to push through writer’s block and finish the most challenging chapters.
As proud as I am of writing my book, embracing the boredom of successive lockdowns also helped me to disentangle my self-worth from my levels of productivity.
This period enabled me to understand that doing nothing wasn’t a personal or moral failure, but actually it was what my body and mind needed, in a way that is entirely removed from my capacity to be productive and work.
Since lockdown, I have found myself relishing the quiet times in life.
I’m better at setting boundaries, and I don’t panic if I have a weekend stretching ahead of me without wall-to-wall plans.
A lazy afternoon on the sofa now feels calming and rejuvenating, rather than unsettling.
After years as my enemy, boredom is now my friend.
So, for the next few days, I plan to lean into it.
I’ll start a movie at 11am, read a book in the bath until it starts to go cold, sit on the sofa and chat aimlessly with relatives.
2023 is going to be a lot, and there will be days when you barely have time to catch your breath, so cling on to these last few moments of peace while you can.
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